razorpsych

I watched 'The Hours' today. Beforehand I wasn't really expecting much because I'm not a fan of most arthouse/ pretentious filmmaking, but this pleasantly surprised me. Maybe it was something to do with the fact that I had to study 'Mrs Dalloway' before as part of my English course, but I did manage to get a lot out of the movie. It's a film split into three parts running alongside each other - the first concerns Virginia Woolf (Nicole Kidman) in the process of writing her novel, the second of Julianne Moore playing a woman trapped in a loveless marriage who uses Mrs Dalloway as an escape, and the third concerning Meryl Streep who is holding a party like the Mrs Dalloway of the novel. They all interconnect in some way and gradually it becomes something very modernist in its reading of the way society and its expectations hold you back from true happiness. Of all the things that the my English degree taught me, the Modernist movement was the one thing that made me think constantly. What does society say are the things which are supposed to make you feel happy? marriage, kids, a good job etc. It's all bullshit really. I find this hard to get over in my brain and i do want to settle down, wed and have a good job, but in the whole scheme of things, what does it matter? You earn money, you're materially happy, you end up marrying somebody of which can easily be dictated by circumstance and situation. Sooner or later you can end up sad and unfulfilled whichever way you go. I don't want that and it constantly drives me. This probably means bad news for me because i can see break-ups, divorces, heartbreak and constant movement from place to place happening, but shit happens. You stay close to your heart and it will fuck up those closest and most important to you. What makes everybody else happy and drives them? it's all bloody confusing and this is why Virginia Woolf ended up going crazy and killing herself. It's because she had these thoughts and more x100.
hopefully i'll keep a balance to try not to go to either extreme.. but who can predict? then life would really be boring.

xashx