razorpsych

so why did i decide it was a good idea to break up?

honestly? - because i need to get my myself sorted out before i'm totally happy with a proper long-term relationship. And this one was long term, but there are so many things we both need to sort out first. For this type of relationship, i need to be totally happy, and i didn't think that we were so it kept playing on my mind. i was thinking about it ahead of what i needed to do in the future, so obviously there was somthing wrong. it's cool. it sounds bad and i REALLY handled it badly, but we are still friends and we won't ever hate each other i'm sure. I need to know, for myself, that i can get through life without having to have someone supporting me and helping me through. i need to travel, i need to do my own thing, and i would like to be in a mutually forgiving relationship rather than each having to rely on each other for support.

i would like to have more relationships too, and this is the time to have them. i'm lucky. i'm not bad looking, and there is something about me which people seem to like, but i'm not comfortable with the sleeping around thing, so that's why an open relationship doesn't really work for me. i'm not the sort to throw away people, and that's the sort of thing you'll end up having to do. better to know what you are getting into without any ties, so you can be totally honest with people that you see.

xx