voodou:
oh he gonna draw good. reaaaal gooood...
raygunjones:
I don't like it.....I love it.
Satchmo Will Defile the Minds of our Youth!!!!!!!!!! Bye Bye Birdie has a whole new meaning for me now. 
Seriously, this video makes my heart laugh so hard that milk shoots through it's nose.
Seriously, this video makes my heart laugh so hard that milk shoots through it's nose.
These are the stats and analysis of my creepy co-worker as it would appear on the back of his baseball card:
Bats: Left
Throws: Left
Car of Function: 2007 Pontiac G6 - During the 2008 oil hike, he applied a bumper sticker that read, "Will Fuck for Gas." Within 4 months time the cost of a barrel of oil came down, and only after his...
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Bats: Left
Throws: Left
Car of Function: 2007 Pontiac G6 - During the 2008 oil hike, he applied a bumper sticker that read, "Will Fuck for Gas." Within 4 months time the cost of a barrel of oil came down, and only after his...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
scarlaa:
LMFAO! That was awesome! Your blog is hilarious too! I think I might know that guy...
raygunjones:
Thank you. That's very sweet of you to say. But if you see this guy turn the other way and run. 
voodou:
oh lord. kill it with fire
raygunjones:
If this dude had a baseball card, The stats and analysis would go something like this:
Bats: Left
Throws: Left
Car of Function: 2007 Pontiac G6 - During the 2008 oil hike, he applied a bumper sticker that read, "Will Fuck for Gas." Within 4 months time the cost of a barrel of oil came down, and only after his negotiation strategies with OPEC had yielded victory, did he decide to remove said sticker from car.
Car of Leisure: 1983 Pontiac Fiero - A common quote used around the office is: "The man owns a Fiero."
Number of People Living in Apartment: 5 - 1) Wife* 2) Daughter** 3) Son*** 4) Mother-In-Law**** 5)Boots*****
Number of Animals Living in Apartment: 7 - 1) Two Dogs 2)Three Cats 3)Two Ferrets
Footnotes on humans currently living in coworkers domicile:
*Crazy. They talk on Skype about what they've discovered on their surveillance footage from the cameras stationed around their apartment. On one occasion I accidentally stumbled across hidden camera footage taken from within his Fiero. It took palce at his son's little league game. It entailed One-idiot Baseball Dad calling said coworker's wife the dreaded "C" word, before peeling out. I also suspect that they're both plotting to kill each other on their own time.
**Kind of boring. It's a Baby, but she gets a free pass for now.
***The creepiest feeling I've ever felt about anyone. (And I once shook hands with Jose Canseco one month before spousal abuse charges were filed.) Three others have confirmed this exact same occurrence within separate, yet limited experiences of meeting the replicant boy child.
****Said co-worker has openly talked about wishing he could get away with murdering her. He just doesn't feel confident enough in getting away with it. (Strangely, however, he has expressed to myself and people in our Graphics department that he knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that he could pull off a bank robbery if he planned for two months.) Other than her potential termination, the only other fact that I know of her is that She is a Chicago Bears fan. I myself am a die-hard Bears fan, and find it peculiar to find this kinship in someone who lived in Jersey their whole life. Go Bears.
*****Not to be confused with one of the pets, only three things are known about the man know as Boots.
1. He's a hillbilly friend that spends all day downloading really terrible bootlegs of even more terrible stand-up comedians. e.g. Carlos Mencia.
2. He once showed up to an office Christmas party wearing really creepy combat boots that bordered more on the bondage side, than it did in a militaristic sense.
a. One source claimed him to be vaguely racist, but that source is unreliable and will I can only indict the character of a man on first-hand information.
3. They've been trying to get rid of him for going on three and a half years.
Bats: Left
Throws: Left
Car of Function: 2007 Pontiac G6 - During the 2008 oil hike, he applied a bumper sticker that read, "Will Fuck for Gas." Within 4 months time the cost of a barrel of oil came down, and only after his negotiation strategies with OPEC had yielded victory, did he decide to remove said sticker from car.
Car of Leisure: 1983 Pontiac Fiero - A common quote used around the office is: "The man owns a Fiero."
Number of People Living in Apartment: 5 - 1) Wife* 2) Daughter** 3) Son*** 4) Mother-In-Law**** 5)Boots*****
Number of Animals Living in Apartment: 7 - 1) Two Dogs 2)Three Cats 3)Two Ferrets
Footnotes on humans currently living in coworkers domicile:
*Crazy. They talk on Skype about what they've discovered on their surveillance footage from the cameras stationed around their apartment. On one occasion I accidentally stumbled across hidden camera footage taken from within his Fiero. It took palce at his son's little league game. It entailed One-idiot Baseball Dad calling said coworker's wife the dreaded "C" word, before peeling out. I also suspect that they're both plotting to kill each other on their own time.
**Kind of boring. It's a Baby, but she gets a free pass for now.
***The creepiest feeling I've ever felt about anyone. (And I once shook hands with Jose Canseco one month before spousal abuse charges were filed.) Three others have confirmed this exact same occurrence within separate, yet limited experiences of meeting the replicant boy child.
****Said co-worker has openly talked about wishing he could get away with murdering her. He just doesn't feel confident enough in getting away with it. (Strangely, however, he has expressed to myself and people in our Graphics department that he knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that he could pull off a bank robbery if he planned for two months.) Other than her potential termination, the only other fact that I know of her is that She is a Chicago Bears fan. I myself am a die-hard Bears fan, and find it peculiar to find this kinship in someone who lived in Jersey their whole life. Go Bears.
*****Not to be confused with one of the pets, only three things are known about the man know as Boots.
1. He's a hillbilly friend that spends all day downloading really terrible bootlegs of even more terrible stand-up comedians. e.g. Carlos Mencia.
2. He once showed up to an office Christmas party wearing really creepy combat boots that bordered more on the bondage side, than it did in a militaristic sense.
a. One source claimed him to be vaguely racist, but that source is unreliable and will I can only indict the character of a man on first-hand information.
3. They've been trying to get rid of him for going on three and a half years.
Don't Mess With Exas - Part Two
Yeah, so I'm finishing up freelance work for my Ex and the lesson to be learned here... Business and personal can morph into some new hybrid psychosis of molten fury. I know this is a quite unique predicament, but I present my final analysis: Fuck the money, you'll spend it on Advil when the day is done.
Yeah, so I'm finishing up freelance work for my Ex and the lesson to be learned here... Business and personal can morph into some new hybrid psychosis of molten fury. I know this is a quite unique predicament, but I present my final analysis: Fuck the money, you'll spend it on Advil when the day is done.
voodou:
hear hear.
heres a music video
this song always cheers me up
(approved by robot high command of course)
heres a music video
this song always cheers me up
(approved by robot high command of course)
Just bought the domain name to cockroulette.com. So when Time Warner buys out chat roulette and then figures out exactly what it is, drinks are on me.
prettyinink:
lmao!
First thing I see when I walk out the door today is the guy looking like he was interested in breaking into my car. Fortunately, alcohol is usually more of a ceremonious touch to mark the success of a crime well-done, e.g. Danny Ocean's crew. This guy went all "cart-before-the-horse" and face-before-the-sneakers, slamming his head out onto the sidewalk right in front of a cop...
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Alright Easter, thanks for fuckin' wit the program. Sunday's where I ritualistically read, eat bacon, drink coffee, and flirt with the cute waitress. Thanks for leaving Boston Market (the extended family of all vagrants) on the table.
"Mummmmy, There's a Lincoln log in me sock drawer. It's the story of Jesus."
-William Melvin Hicks
"Mummmmy, There's a Lincoln log in me sock drawer. It's the story of Jesus."
-William Melvin Hicks
scarlaa:
Zuul! That demon possesses hot women!
raygunjones:
Indeed. But then again they're demons. They've been around the block a few time and can spot some ass with half a glance. So who's your Stay Puff?