raygunjones

So how does that William S. Burroughs quote go again? "File your taxes on drugs, get audited sober?"
Nailed the first part. We shall see about the second.

Seriously, Sohail down at the former Ihop, current H&R Block, is a tax-god. On Thursday I get to kick the shit of some tires and test some camera packages that I've been eyeing for a solid-minute now.

Quick documentary pitch: I'm in the market for a new vacuum, this kid is in the market to fend off bullies. Game-on. He teaches me the true value of a vintage '78 Kenmore Magnicore and I beat up a bunch of sadist kids. Before you know it, I'm fixing vacuums and he's wearing fingerless brawler gloves. WIN-WIN.

Title: Bicycle Jones and The Vacuum Kid

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Best Night Ever.

Set-Up. Get to the rock show early. Still starving and need some preliminary libations to fuel the evening ahead. I get this random "fuck all" itch to just take a left down the first street I see, in the hopes of surveying my dining options. As I take the corner, I literally bump square into someone. And before I can spit out...
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Intense Skype convo going down between said co-worker and mother-in-law through a $10,000 Mackie console in perfect 5.1 clarity.

If becoming a zombie were the price to pay for dying for like the next 15-20 mins, I'd be okay eating brains going forward forward in life/death. I don't have to many gaps in my resume so I think I'd land on my feet like a...
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So I want to start a high-end hammock manufacturing company that's so confident in our product, that each model will come equipped with randomly dangerous objects mounted beneath them (e.g. a box of broken glass, a bag o' gila monsters, a live hand-grenade). The company's slogan: Dangerously Comfortable, which in full disclosure, is pretty much the only reason I'd want to do this. Any...
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Here's an excerpt of this documentary that was made about me and my family in the 1980's. This crew, a group of Danish filmmakers, spent several months with us until we eventually barely even noticed that they were there, real fly-on-the-wall technique. I'm still amazed at how Fern and the crew just had that alchemical fortune of being in the right place at the right...
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New evidence just surfaced that, once and for all, proves the moon landing to be staged and shot on a studio lot. However, the studio lot where it was shot, that was found to have actually been located on the moon.
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Finding out that the Obits (featuring Rick Froberg, formerly of The Hot Snakes) are opening up for Ted Leo is like finding a $20 bill in the pocket of the coolest jacket on earth. The very definition of win-win.


Speaking of winning, I'm swiffing toilets with the nose of my rival in our Fantasy Basketball League. It's the Championship round of the playoffs, and I'm...
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Alright, co-worker is blasting some egghead podcast gabbing about the ipad for going on two hours. Cruel, unusual, meet the MC5s Babes in Arms. Wayne Kramer will not be denied.