rawr_ima_monster

Upon examination of the MRIs that my insurance company denied a month ago, and which I had to do twice because the first time the operator hadn't calibrated something correctly, the Orthopedist told me he thought Physical Therapy was probably not worth the time and was unlikely to take care of it, but before they consider any surgery they want to try an epidural cortisone injection. Whee! Spine-o-stab with liquid hot steroid juice, and possibly surgery aferwards! Hooray! But it gets even more interesting-

So, I was supposed to have a giant needle of death crammed into my spine today in an attempt to possibly alleviate the problem, but it had to be cancelled. Why I'm upset about not getting stabbed in the spinal cord with a pointy metal tube is kind of a mystery, but I guess I was just looking forward to getting it over with and done before I took off for Thanksgiving.

You see, when the spunky young thing behind the desk called me to set up an appointment, she asked "are you taking any aspirin medications?" and I said "Not that I'm aware of- I'm on Ibuprofin and Vicoden". "OK, that's fine, you just can't have any aspirin before the injection" she said, and I replied "I'll just keep taking the Ibuprofin and Vicoden, that's ok, right? I don't need to do anything specific?". "yeah, sure, that's fine", she says. There's also a part in there where she tells me I'll need a driver, but tells me that I won't feel any effects, it's just for their liability. I try and ask how that makes any sense if there are no effects to the medication or procedure, but it doesn't get me anywhere. I hang up the phone assuming A: I'm fine taking my medication as normal and B: This procedure is not going to be that big a deal and I shouldn't have to make too big a deal out of it. Apparantly both points are bullshit.

Today I arrive on the scene, realizing I can't really ask anyone to drive me there and wait for me, and after trying all day to set up a complicated plan for the 2-hours-out-of-my-work-day of driving to the doctor's, then getting a ride from the doctor's back to my office and then back to my car later in the day when I should be feeling totally normal, and discover a few things.

After I correct the Nurse about what procedure I am supposed to be coming in for and where it is supposed to be administered (!!!), I find out that it's possible might have some pretty bad pain or numbness for the rest of the day and night. I start thinking about how I'm going to get my car back to my house, and why no one told me that this would be such a scary thing I was doing. Then the Nurse says "so, are you taking any aspirin?" and I say "no, they told me shouldn't." "Ok. What medications are you on?" says the nurse, and I reply "Ibuprofin and Vicoden, like I filled out on the form you are looking at right there in your hands, you infuriating person" (no, not really). So then she says "Oh." and gets up. "You can't do this if you've been taking Ibuprofen, you need to be off of that for 7 days before doing this." I then say, rather perplexed and twitching, "But you said no aspirin", and she says "Ibuprofin has aspirin in it" (Now, I REALLY DON'T THINK that is true, but I do believe it is similarly a blood thinner, so I understand her point and the reasons, had I only been told them 7 days ago). "Oh. They told me I could keep taking it when I made the appointment," I say. "Hm. We've had some new staff come on recently. Sorry. We'll have to reschedule this." To which I replied by ripping off her head and crapping in her skull and screaming "Ahhhh! DOn't you realize people have JOBS!?! I drove 40 minutes in Bullshit traffic you whores, and now I have to drive that back! And you want to charge me hundreds of dollars for this procedure TODAY before I've even had it! die die die demon spawn!" and calmly walk back to the front desk to reschedule.

So, now I have to have this done when I come back from Thanksgiving out of town, which really bugs the shit out me, because It means I'm going to have to try and make it through all the hubbub of visiting family, navigating the airport, a long flight, getting home, etc etc etc all while having some real problems with standing and walking for more than a short time, and all under the untested conditions of not taking any anti-inflammatories (Ibuprofen). It also means that the follow-up Doctor's appointments and possible future injections are all more likely to take place during the apocalypse of "The Holidays", wherein the traffic will be much worse and everyone is going to be fucking closed and unavailable and out of town.