Friday May 02, 2003

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i'll leave y'all with this thought:

never leave the one you love. never leave the one who loves you. no matter what happens, it's never worth it.

know what is fleeting. know what is real. and don't fuck it up.

livejournal.com/~cortneyrockstar
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scooter11:
Miss ya here, but see ya on LJ. And Seattle...smile
josh:
but... but... I LIKE to fuck up! wink

Thursday Apr 17, 2003

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my account is running out in a few days. i probably won't be renewing.

if you have any desire to keep up with the events of my ever-so-exciting life, check http://www.livejournal.com/~cortneyrockstar

over and out.
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jasechase:
your account hasn't run out yet. Does that mean you are still around on the SG site?
mistersatan:
You're absolutely right. I've known this for quite a long time, and you're not the first person to tell me so.

The problem is trying to improve myself (which I'm trying to do) when so many things, both external and internal, are trying to keep me down. My daily journals are basically little slices of that.

Tuesday Apr 15, 2003

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i'm one tired girl. the dj gig was superfun but i only got a few hours of sleep and had piles of work to get through today. i have a feeling i'll be going to sleep damn early tonight.

i've reached a point with my zine where i am having trouble deciding how personal i can get. obviously names and identifying details will be changed,...
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joubee:
Growing up I think we look to self-rectify more than when we are older.........therfore we look for the things that make us feel older...........book nerds look to their books and popular girls look to their cigarettes. As we become older the self-rectifying starts to recede and we have a clearer less ego-driven picture of ourselves, taking into account the black, white, and grey.
scooter11:
(I would like to note that this is now my 6th attempt to post this. I hope these glitches get worked out soon...)
I feel almost exactly like you do in the last paragraph. In high school people used to consider me a little old man; I was cranky, insular, too much into politics and book-larnin'. Now I'm much more social, but I feel incredibly immature now, as if I'm still living like sophomore. My friends having kids freaks me out, although I know that for any vaguely normal person that's the rule rather than the exception at this point.
I guess at least it's better than feeling old, eh? confused

Sunday Apr 13, 2003

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i'm dj'ing at the tonic on sandy tomorrow night. stop by and have a drink. or not.

i had a pretty mellow weekend....watched a movie with a friend friday night, cheered at the anti-war march and saw the apples in stereo saturday, and ran errands and went to the nocturnal craft fair today.
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joubee:
What music do you spin? There are not a lot of girl DJs in town.
itsalivemedia:
Your advice in the jerk or nice journal was so right on. Gave me a new perspective. I just wanted to say it kinda woke me up. Thank you.

Friday Apr 11, 2003

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i love my new job. i have my very own office and office assistants to help me with photocopying and stuff like that. i can't wait to start decorating my office. i'm so excited i could dance.

i'm going to pick up a painting i bought and then go see dame darcy at reading frenzy. i'm going to see if i can convince her to design...
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josh:
Holy shit! Congratulations!!!
demigauge:
congrats on dominating the world and getting your own assistnat to

Wednesday Apr 09, 2003

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yay, i'm having the BEST day:

i got a job. a good one, too. i'm doing research for the policy and government department of a big law firm. pays well, the people seem nice, and i get to be a policy wonk. my little temping vacation is over....

AND my debt to wellesley is finally paid off. when i graduated i had a couple grand...
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edie:
i actually work at the alexandria store, but that's cool you worked in dupont. i actually might get a job at the pleasure place.
morgan:
ugh, my first boyfriend made NO noise during sex, which was so weird to me because he was normally a loudmouth. I hated it, it made me freak out.
Of course he was a lousy lay in general.

Monday Apr 07, 2003

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i had two root canals this morning and took the rest of the day off. i'm not motivated to do anything and my mouth hurts. i was going to write about the arab strap/ bright eyes show last night and how i had a transcendent moment during the encore, followed by an epiphany that sadly came four months too late, but i'll save that for...
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papawheelie:
aawwww...you poor puffy cheeked thing!

hope you recouperate quickly and never have dental work again. ever.
scooter11:
Hope your dental pain has subsided. Owie!

Friday Apr 04, 2003

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someone once said the best thing about temping was stealing office supplies. they were wrong. the best thing about temping is flirting with bike messengers all day long.

i'm kind of liking this mini mental vacation. sure, my education is going to waste, but i have tons of time to work on my zine and write for other people's zines (although i must say i...
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scooter11:
Hmm, interesting. I don't know people in open realtionships, but i suspect that's more my hanging out in prissy academic circles rather than geography per se.
I'm open-minded about it; I'm not sure if I'd be tempermentally suited to it or not. But I'd better worry about finding one partner first. wink
You must post a link to your zine work sometime...
illbillzillbub:
come and temp in Sydney

Wednesday Apr 02, 2003

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We all end up living secret lives. We create what we are willing to admire and admiring what we shouldnt confess to the secret of our own sin, our own insufficiency, our own sadness. We all end up taking our secrets into the world and handing them over to strangers, only to realize its often too late to claim them back. The very nature of...
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scooter11:
BTW, great comment on Morgan's journal today. There's definitely room for self-criticism among feminists--even if we didn't create the (inherently anti-feminist)canard that men can't be feminists, we must do more to combat it. And the trivialization of (if not outright contempt for) feminism among old-Left "progressives" is alive and well, epitomized by Ralph Nader's dismissal of "gonadal politics" (fuck off.) I mean, who cares about reproductive freedom or civil rights when we could be discussing a real issue like steel tarrifs?
morgan:
I think one of the problems with getting men interested in feminism is that it takes a LOT of work and self-analyzation to do so. Just like it is hard to be white and start working for racial equality...you have to be able to look inside yourself and see the ways in which your actions and opinions are detrimental to the cause. and it's very hard to do that without feeling guilty, and it's very hard to feel guilty without getting defensive. So a man can say "i'm interested in feminism" but when it gets to the point where we question masculinity or things men in general do that are harmful, a lot of men shy away.

Even with the idea of educating men about rape...they feel like they are being accused of being a rapist. I know when i've done work on race I've often not been able to resist the urge to defend myself as not-a-racist, and that's taken away from my ability to help the cause...So i think that might be one problem.

Sunday Mar 30, 2003

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writing.
working.
protesting.
going to shows.

that's pretty much it.

i love casiotone for the painfully alone, anna oxygen, and ghost to falco.
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joubee:
You sound wonderful. You will see me at the protests too. I wish those damn tree huggin' hippies would yell louder though. I'm always by the marching band...they make me feel like I am in the army for PEACE!
jasechase:
Seems like you have your life in order. Peace to you.

Thursday Mar 27, 2003

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i just saw the BEST book cover i have ever seen. EVER. the book is "a world without walls" by former wto director general mike moore. yeah, it's pro-globalization bullshit. BUT, the book cover is a photo of one of those giant puppets from the WTO protests with a sign around the neck that says "michael moore kills the poor." true, this guy is evil,...
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scooter11:
One reason I need to get to Portland is to make another trip to Powell's. Mmmm, Powell's.
If there's a better word in the Enlish language than "wankfest", I'd like to know what it is...
(Oh yeah, and you rock because you list "Leviathan"in your favorites. One of my favorite seminars ever was an entire quarter on Hobbes. I never get tired of it.)

[Edited on Mar 27, 2003]
demigauge:
i love michael mooore..but i don't really like powell's anymore sinc ethey wouldn't let susan wter have her book reading there...

Wednesday Mar 26, 2003

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i just watched the evening news for the first time in ages. anyone who still thinks the mainstream media has a liberal bias has politics that took a right tun at mussolini. i get the vast majority of my news from kboo, npr, indymedia, and le monde. and after watching the jingoistic propaganda spewed on the six o'clock news, i remembered why.

question: is it...
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aoife:
I cannot escape people who think we should boycott the french, my mother is one. What's really tough is that I want to direct movies and she won't see them because she hates almost every actor out there for being a liberal.

so what happened to me? I voted for Nader. jeez. But I think it's better to mix it up, but I don't really have a choice...
scooter11:
That's an interesting question. Generally, I hang around with fairly like-minded people, albeit one step less radical (if you move to Seattle, I offer to be your token overeducated pansy-ass non-Marxist leftist friend. wink) But on the other hand, I always feel compelled to read some conservative media sources, etc. And teaching here definitely puts you in contact with some right-wingers. Which is probably good, although I have no desire to hang out with any of 'em...
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