I have been highly absent. Not just from here, but I had checked out of life for a quarter of the year. And let me start by saying I did not plan for that to happen. I am a high functioning anxiety case. My doctor made the comment to a fellowship student that I am one of his top 5 cases. I tell you this because when I began my journey back into the modeling world after several years hiatus, I never expected to meet one of my very best friends who unknowingly had helped me to remember who I was. I also never expected to loose someone that close to me just as quickly as our bond had formed. My friend passed away in April. He didn’t smoke, he didn’t drink, God fearing, non judge mental, understanding and he was never pessimistic even when things were really not great in his world (his mom passed not long after he did from cancer). I still do not know what happened. During this traumatic event my frenchie was seizing to the point of almost having to put him down and he’s only 3. He has been holding the spot in my heart that my battle with Andenomyosis and prevented me from being able to completely fill (he is doing ok right now). I went into a depression and I closed off everyone and everything without realizing how fast time was going by. I hit my low point when I had totaled my car one night. I never saw any of this coming.
I am out of that hole, but it took a lot of looking into myself to figure out how to get out. To those of you that have been corresponding with me when I had the energy to spend, I appreciate you more than you know. I appreciate my fans. I want to be something positive for everyone. I found that my calling is to just be myself and spread my natural ability to know people and understand. To never judge them despite differences. To never have a negative opinion because behind a negative is somewhere a positive. I had to remember my positive mindset that I had before all of the bad. I had to realize as an adult, we all have our shit and it will never stop. You just can’t let that be the focus of your life.
Also I have a surprise!
1. professional shoot with my photographer will be posted on Playboy Centerfold this week.
2. I am shooting tomorrow with my photographer for Suicide Girls. So be on the lookout for the announcement of another official shoot release date.
3. I am also rebranding. I will have t-shirts coming in and they’re pretty dope. If you want to preorder, let me know. I will set that up if I have a large enough request to do so
4. I applied for a school to obtain my Master’s Degree in Forensic Science. Wish me luck!
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
