ravergene

Heading to Mazatlan, Mexico today at 8:20 a.m. I had to go. My love life blew up into total chaos. Does anyone know how it feels to lose someone you feel you really love? Sometimes I wonder if love is made up in your head because you decided to give it all. So if you don't give it all, is it still love? I'm not making any sense right now. I have to get 5 hours of sleep before I get up and to head to the airport. All I can feel right now is the pain. Everyone says pain eases with time but the truth is, the love never goes away. It just gets placed somewhere and walls get built up so that you can't find it easily. I need this vacation away but in a sense, its just another way to build walls and forget reality. A temporary fix or even a catalyst towards a speedy recovery. Who cares what its called. Its time aways.

Then my grandma's sister died last night just before my trip. How selfish am I going away to enjoy myself? I don't think I'll be able to enjoy myself. If I stay, I'll be miserable either way. Who knows. But I'm counting on this trip to heal wounds and start anew. Sensitive gibberish....blah blah blah, blah blah blah

Love risk = suicide
We can't touch and
We can't hold anymore cuz....

If love is so easy to give, what makes it special? Is it supposed to be rare? Maybe not. FUCK IT.




See you Cali in a week. Back June 5.