well i seem to be feeling a little better, just taking things one step at a time, my parents just left, they came up from virginia to see me, and gabed about everything and nothing, they seem to be so worried about me because im living 11 hours away from them (driving time)....i feel much better, cept for everything about paul, i just havent gotten over him yet, i just love him so much, and i didnt want to stop loving him, i want to love him again...i want him to love me again i guess i cant worry about these things, i should just try and be happy that he is a good friend, but fuck that, i want to be close to him, lay naked against his skin, feeling warm, and comforted....just that feeling that i get when i look into his eyes *sigh* i know everything happens for a reason, but i dont want that reason, i just want him...pathetic moi...
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