got a call from the partner in New York this afternoon.
she called last night, but it was late here & 3 hours later there & she was pretty sleepy.
today, she was full of energy, chipper, & talking about suicide.
I had originally taken off this week--I had about ten days off total--& the plan was to fly to New York & spend a few days in NYC & a few days in Buffalo, where she's going to college.
what with everything going on, I decided to give back the days & try & go again in a few weeks.
how do I feel about this woman? if I can't get the time off I'll probably quit my job to be there with her.
it's hard to say exactly what's going on between us. we've known each other for about 8 years--I was working in a coffeeshop in SLC & she came in one day & I fell in love with her, literally, at first sight.
it was about a month before we sat down & talked, & another month before we ended up in bed together.
a helluva lot of water under the bridge sice then.
the suicide talk doesn't come up very often--not explicitly, but it's generally lurking under a lot of her choices in life & her words. when she does talk about it, I get scared, but I make a joke out of it & keep her talking & laughing.
"Would you hate me if I killed myself?"
"I wouldn't forgive you as long as you...oh."
I know her well enough to take her seriously, & she knows me well enough not to mention it unless she wants me to do something silly like quit my job to go be with her.
selah.
she called last night, but it was late here & 3 hours later there & she was pretty sleepy.
today, she was full of energy, chipper, & talking about suicide.
I had originally taken off this week--I had about ten days off total--& the plan was to fly to New York & spend a few days in NYC & a few days in Buffalo, where she's going to college.
what with everything going on, I decided to give back the days & try & go again in a few weeks.
how do I feel about this woman? if I can't get the time off I'll probably quit my job to be there with her.
it's hard to say exactly what's going on between us. we've known each other for about 8 years--I was working in a coffeeshop in SLC & she came in one day & I fell in love with her, literally, at first sight.
it was about a month before we sat down & talked, & another month before we ended up in bed together.
a helluva lot of water under the bridge sice then.
the suicide talk doesn't come up very often--not explicitly, but it's generally lurking under a lot of her choices in life & her words. when she does talk about it, I get scared, but I make a joke out of it & keep her talking & laughing.
"Would you hate me if I killed myself?"
"I wouldn't forgive you as long as you...oh."
I know her well enough to take her seriously, & she knows me well enough not to mention it unless she wants me to do something silly like quit my job to go be with her.
selah.