I feel like a baby. Brand new. It's summertime, I just quit my job, I just quit my boyfriend, I'm out of school, and I need structure. I also haven't been doing very much modeling lately (okay, none at all), I'm about a month away from shaving the rest of my hair (I haven't updated with my new hair yet, I don't think, I'll remember to at the end of this post, hopefully.) and I've become bored of the internet. So what do I do with my time?
I wish I knew.
I cook. A little bit. I make at least one substantial meal per day. Haven't been making cookies/brownies/cupcakes as often as I should, as well as side dishes (rice, quinoa, steamed veggies, etc
but it's the next step. I know, how can I say I haven't been making enough sweets? That's a good thing, right? Maybe, but I'm in a bit of a rut and some chocolate would make everything better. But the thing is, is that cooking isn't my job. It can hardly be considered a hobby (well, it is, but even hobbies come and go). It's a required function. Eating is in that same category of sleeping, showing, going to the bathroom, therefor cooking should be a member of that same family, not something I do "when I have a shit-ton of free time". I'm trying to figure out how to layer the upcoming aspects of my life, with cooking being the base of it all, the "meat", if you will (or "seitan"...I'm going to get to the seitan of the issue...I'm so funny. not. anyway). Layered on top, a job that I don't despise, a social life, and some creative hobbies. And of course, taking care of the house, doing some mowing, so on, so forth.
So first things first: a job. I've been looking for a night time janitorial position. Lame, I know. But I'm sick of talking to people, sick of dealing with people, and sick of pretending to be nice and happy. Telemarketing blew. So bad. I never want to utter the words, "how are you doing today?" ever again, unless I am genuinely asking a friend. I should be out looking more, I know I should, but right now I have this huge wart on the bottom of my toe that NEEDS to go away before I can be expected to stand/walk around for an entire shift. Hurts like a bitch. So I've got some duct tape on it and I'm trying to keep it dry. I know it's a stupid excuse not to look for a job, but I have been looking, albeit slowly. Maybe in the meantime I should sell crafts online.
Which brings me of course to the next problem: lack of motivation. You'd think that sitting around on my ass all day would give me plenty of opportunity to do creative things, but alas, I am as lazy as my cat. I have many different "hobbies" just waiting to be picked back up: sewing, screenprinting, clay sculpting, modeling, photography, drawing, just to name a few. But my art supplies sit in a tall white shelf, in the living room, right next to a huge work area, collecting dust. Go me. I need to figure out how to get myself going, get myself amped out, and get myself on the floor cutting things out and applying ink and glue. I think the only thing that will work is to schedule "craft time" into each day; an hour of anything crafty I want, be it painting or cutting out pieces of paper, and follow through. In fact, that was what got me off my ass and start to cook: a food calendar. I know it sounds nerdy, but there is something very helpful about having all of the meals I'm going to be making for the week, along with the book and page number the recipe is in, and knowing that I have all of the food for everything because I knew what I needed when I went grocery shopping. Maybe this same sort of idea will help me with my hobbies.
I'm going to interrupt this "meaningful" blog with a rant about Frogstar. I love him to death, and it seems to me we get along a lot better now that we're not married (ok, we were never married, but you get the point). However, he still doesn't have his car licensed, which means that he is still relying on me to get him to work. When you live 20-30 minutes from town, that's a huge hassle. Especially since most of the time it's "hey, wake up, I have to be at work in half an hour!" It means I have to drag my groggy ass out of bed and be prepared to drive into town immediately, or let him borrow the car. And if I let him borrow the car, I'm stuck here unless someone is kind enough to give me a ride elsewhere. It sucks, and it's really not fair to me at all. Especially since he'll have two days off work in a row, plenty of time to get everything taken care of, and he'll sit on the couch and play videogames the entirety of it. Now, I don't care about him playing video games, it's one of those cares I tossed out the window when I dumped him, but it wouldn't take him very long and he knows I'll help him with it if he needs help. Another thing he's put off is getting his own bed. Last week I tossed everything of his into the extra bedroom, brought my computer in here (my bedroom) and for the first time since highschool I have a bedroom that is 100% mine. Oh, except this guy that sleeps here with me because we don't have a suitable couch for him (we have a short love seat and Frogstar is a giant) and I'm not going to force him on the floor because of all of the spiders and bugs. So what can I do? I can give him a time limit (you have a week to stop relying on me for rides and sleep comfort) but then he bitches about being given ultimatums. I do think I'm being very patient, what kind of ex girlfriend drives their ex boyfriend to work and allows him to sleep with her? I must be taken advantage of, but this complaint falls on deaf ears.
It's so annoying. What a bother.
I know I said I was interrupting the blog for the rant, but now I have a sour taste in my mouth, so I'm going to drink a glass of red wine and do the dishes. Here's that picture I amazingly remembered:
And here is a picture from my last shoot:
I wish I knew.
I cook. A little bit. I make at least one substantial meal per day. Haven't been making cookies/brownies/cupcakes as often as I should, as well as side dishes (rice, quinoa, steamed veggies, etc
but it's the next step. I know, how can I say I haven't been making enough sweets? That's a good thing, right? Maybe, but I'm in a bit of a rut and some chocolate would make everything better. But the thing is, is that cooking isn't my job. It can hardly be considered a hobby (well, it is, but even hobbies come and go). It's a required function. Eating is in that same category of sleeping, showing, going to the bathroom, therefor cooking should be a member of that same family, not something I do "when I have a shit-ton of free time". I'm trying to figure out how to layer the upcoming aspects of my life, with cooking being the base of it all, the "meat", if you will (or "seitan"...I'm going to get to the seitan of the issue...I'm so funny. not. anyway). Layered on top, a job that I don't despise, a social life, and some creative hobbies. And of course, taking care of the house, doing some mowing, so on, so forth.
So first things first: a job. I've been looking for a night time janitorial position. Lame, I know. But I'm sick of talking to people, sick of dealing with people, and sick of pretending to be nice and happy. Telemarketing blew. So bad. I never want to utter the words, "how are you doing today?" ever again, unless I am genuinely asking a friend. I should be out looking more, I know I should, but right now I have this huge wart on the bottom of my toe that NEEDS to go away before I can be expected to stand/walk around for an entire shift. Hurts like a bitch. So I've got some duct tape on it and I'm trying to keep it dry. I know it's a stupid excuse not to look for a job, but I have been looking, albeit slowly. Maybe in the meantime I should sell crafts online.
Which brings me of course to the next problem: lack of motivation. You'd think that sitting around on my ass all day would give me plenty of opportunity to do creative things, but alas, I am as lazy as my cat. I have many different "hobbies" just waiting to be picked back up: sewing, screenprinting, clay sculpting, modeling, photography, drawing, just to name a few. But my art supplies sit in a tall white shelf, in the living room, right next to a huge work area, collecting dust. Go me. I need to figure out how to get myself going, get myself amped out, and get myself on the floor cutting things out and applying ink and glue. I think the only thing that will work is to schedule "craft time" into each day; an hour of anything crafty I want, be it painting or cutting out pieces of paper, and follow through. In fact, that was what got me off my ass and start to cook: a food calendar. I know it sounds nerdy, but there is something very helpful about having all of the meals I'm going to be making for the week, along with the book and page number the recipe is in, and knowing that I have all of the food for everything because I knew what I needed when I went grocery shopping. Maybe this same sort of idea will help me with my hobbies.
I'm going to interrupt this "meaningful" blog with a rant about Frogstar. I love him to death, and it seems to me we get along a lot better now that we're not married (ok, we were never married, but you get the point). However, he still doesn't have his car licensed, which means that he is still relying on me to get him to work. When you live 20-30 minutes from town, that's a huge hassle. Especially since most of the time it's "hey, wake up, I have to be at work in half an hour!" It means I have to drag my groggy ass out of bed and be prepared to drive into town immediately, or let him borrow the car. And if I let him borrow the car, I'm stuck here unless someone is kind enough to give me a ride elsewhere. It sucks, and it's really not fair to me at all. Especially since he'll have two days off work in a row, plenty of time to get everything taken care of, and he'll sit on the couch and play videogames the entirety of it. Now, I don't care about him playing video games, it's one of those cares I tossed out the window when I dumped him, but it wouldn't take him very long and he knows I'll help him with it if he needs help. Another thing he's put off is getting his own bed. Last week I tossed everything of his into the extra bedroom, brought my computer in here (my bedroom) and for the first time since highschool I have a bedroom that is 100% mine. Oh, except this guy that sleeps here with me because we don't have a suitable couch for him (we have a short love seat and Frogstar is a giant) and I'm not going to force him on the floor because of all of the spiders and bugs. So what can I do? I can give him a time limit (you have a week to stop relying on me for rides and sleep comfort) but then he bitches about being given ultimatums. I do think I'm being very patient, what kind of ex girlfriend drives their ex boyfriend to work and allows him to sleep with her? I must be taken advantage of, but this complaint falls on deaf ears.
It's so annoying. What a bother.
I know I said I was interrupting the blog for the rant, but now I have a sour taste in my mouth, so I'm going to drink a glass of red wine and do the dishes. Here's that picture I amazingly remembered:
And here is a picture from my last shoot:
and so is the stephen melvin one at the bottom.. great location and lights!
Sitting down and planning out everything you need is a good idea and planning craft time in your week is aswell. and both of those pics are great.