ratboy

I am a stranger in a strange land.

No, not Heinlein ... although I have been feeling a little existncial lately and I don't even know what that means!

I feel utterly disconnected from everybody and everything. There is something wrong and I can't even begin to pinpoint where the pain comes from.

Wow, that sounds pathetic.

"Do you want to keep going through stuff by yourself?" someone once asked me. I didn't really have an answer then, but I think I do now.

Yes.

After a time you get used to relying only on yourself. Asking for help with these sorts of things has never come easily and my natural reaction is to withdraw into myself. Inevitably, people are drawn to me during this time and all I want to do is be alone. When you continually turn people away they become offended and it's not even their fault. So you smile and pretend that everything is ok so as not to hurt their feelings.

The BEST bit about it is the downward spiral only lasts for about a week and then it's back to normal. HURRAH!!

All I want to do is to sleep.