Not everyone understands mental illness; in fact, some people don’t believe it is a real thing. No matter the science behind it or literature that has been written on these topics, some people will just perceive you has weak minded. I had an encounter with a friend’s boyfriend last night that affected me more that I would have liked it to. Perhaps I should’ve waited until she was alone to discuss the current state of my mind and emotions. Regardless, I will no longer tolerate this from him, in short, he’s a dick.
He threw negative words after everything I said. Dissing the fact that I applied for unemployment and SSI, which I don’t feel bad about doing since I clearly need some help. He made me feel small. He criticized everything I didn’t know how to do i.e. ride a bike or learning to try new foods without going into a panic attack. I replied with “I live a sad and timid life”, which I now wish I wouldn’t have said. Both my friend and he stated that I don’t need therapy to be brave and confident. “It is so easy for you to say that” was all I said.
What I was feeling ran along the lines of “I am already the lowest of low what more can you do or say to make me view myself any worse”. This person is not my friend but I have remained neutral around him because my super creative and free spirted friend loves this creature. Now, he is an enemy. He represents the part of society that will never accept mental health and that’s okay.
That’s the reality of it though. There are going to be people who want to help you get better and then there are people out there who will look down upon you. The only thing I can do is defend my position and surround myself with positive reinforcement. Do I want someone like him to understand me? Nope, and I don’t need him too
Let him remain ignorant, let him believe what he wants and let him say what he has to say. I am sure that I will continue to come across people who just don’t “get it”.
Still, if he is around her when I come over, I am just going to go home. As I said, he is a dick
On a more positive note, I start my outpatient group therapy tomorrow morning. I have done a program like this before and I found it encouraging. I believe that I can take more from it this time because my mind and soul want it more. I like being around other people who have major issues when it comes to life. It gives me sanity and a weird sense of belonging.
I clearly enjoy reading memoirs by female writers who have endured mental illness. J
Thanks guys for reading and liking my post. This blog has been a means of therapy for me. I want to write every day. I need to find a community of writers or perhaps a mental illness groups that meets up every once in a while.
“Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” – Unknown
I relate, you dig?
