Help!
I sit here even more in shock than earlier today!
So I take my dad to the Phillies game to day and while sitting in the parking lot, he and I begin talking about this woman whom he has been emailing with. (see my Sept 9 or 10 update)
He proceeds to explain to me that their relationship is not about love. Rather, it is a "different relationship". Know ing my father, I know exactly what this means, or so I thought, and I was okay with this explanation - no further one needed.
WIthin a couple of minutes, I am listening to my father tell me that he is a Dom and this lady from Nigeria wants to come to the US to become his sub. Ok, a bit too much information as he comtinues to tell me that he was suggesting that he and his mother have a live-in house cleaner (she does not know that he wants this woman, and she wants to, come to the US to live with him in a 24/7 D/s relationship.) She said "No" by the way. All I can see is this woman walking around the house with a collar, cleaning up after my nearly 90-yeard-old grandmother.
So I think, "Ok, I can ahndle this - I am not strictly opposed to the existence of this life-style, and I have no real problem with it - so who am I to judge my crazy father?" BTW - he's still legally married, but separated...
I share this info with my wife this evening - she's equally as stunned that he would share this much information with me.
So I come in here to seek some support from the BDSM group, of which I am a member, and my father emails me some pictures of the woman in question.
Here is the text of that email:
Hi kids. After our conversation today, Rick, I thought again that I could send you a couple of photos of this girl. (she accepts that she no longer has a name and is referred to in the third person, even by herself, e.g.:"i am My Master's slave", or "this unworthy girl...", etc.) Thanks for hearing me out. It felt good to be able to talk to you about this today. I hope you two get over the shock quickly, or is it that by now I don't shock you any more?
Is it just me/us, or has he just so crossed a line of too much information with your child??? How the hell do es one respond to this?? He talked about the need for a house with multiple rooms so that my grandmother didn't have to be too exposed to this lifestyle, of which she would NEVER approve. What the F**!!!
So, I guess, my question is this - I want to tell him that while it is his life and not my place to approve or disapprove, but that there is nothing wrong with no divulging too much information to your child, no matter how old he/she is.
Does anybody know a good therapist in the area? I'm just totally freaking stunned that he feels that it ok to share this kind of information about his "sex" life (even if this is not about sex)...
Please feel free to give me two cents here, I really am freaking out inside....
I sit here even more in shock than earlier today!
So I take my dad to the Phillies game to day and while sitting in the parking lot, he and I begin talking about this woman whom he has been emailing with. (see my Sept 9 or 10 update)
He proceeds to explain to me that their relationship is not about love. Rather, it is a "different relationship". Know ing my father, I know exactly what this means, or so I thought, and I was okay with this explanation - no further one needed.
WIthin a couple of minutes, I am listening to my father tell me that he is a Dom and this lady from Nigeria wants to come to the US to become his sub. Ok, a bit too much information as he comtinues to tell me that he was suggesting that he and his mother have a live-in house cleaner (she does not know that he wants this woman, and she wants to, come to the US to live with him in a 24/7 D/s relationship.) She said "No" by the way. All I can see is this woman walking around the house with a collar, cleaning up after my nearly 90-yeard-old grandmother.
So I think, "Ok, I can ahndle this - I am not strictly opposed to the existence of this life-style, and I have no real problem with it - so who am I to judge my crazy father?" BTW - he's still legally married, but separated...
I share this info with my wife this evening - she's equally as stunned that he would share this much information with me.
So I come in here to seek some support from the BDSM group, of which I am a member, and my father emails me some pictures of the woman in question.
Here is the text of that email:
Hi kids. After our conversation today, Rick, I thought again that I could send you a couple of photos of this girl. (she accepts that she no longer has a name and is referred to in the third person, even by herself, e.g.:"i am My Master's slave", or "this unworthy girl...", etc.) Thanks for hearing me out. It felt good to be able to talk to you about this today. I hope you two get over the shock quickly, or is it that by now I don't shock you any more?
Is it just me/us, or has he just so crossed a line of too much information with your child??? How the hell do es one respond to this?? He talked about the need for a house with multiple rooms so that my grandmother didn't have to be too exposed to this lifestyle, of which she would NEVER approve. What the F**!!!
So, I guess, my question is this - I want to tell him that while it is his life and not my place to approve or disapprove, but that there is nothing wrong with no divulging too much information to your child, no matter how old he/she is.
Does anybody know a good therapist in the area? I'm just totally freaking stunned that he feels that it ok to share this kind of information about his "sex" life (even if this is not about sex)...
Please feel free to give me two cents here, I really am freaking out inside....
I mean, I guess it's good that he's comfortable enough to share something like that with you but, yeah, that definitely crosses the TMI line.
Also, I don't feel it right of him to subject your grandmother to that type of situation.
Whether there are "multiple rooms" or not, I'm sure she'd catch on eventually.
Good luck with that one, man.