My grandmother passed away two Sundays ago. Last Thursday was the funeral.
I was very close to my grandmother. She was a wonderful person. Anyone who met her, even briefly, was inevitably struck by her awesome nature. This was my tribute to her. It's not much, but I would like to share it here. Maybe it will help you see her with my eyes, but no words can capture her essence.
When I was younger, I thought that Nana was Ruths real name.
Later on, when I had learned this wasnt true, I thought Nana was my grandmothers own unique nickname, that no one else had. When I finally discovered that this wasnt the case, I had a moment of deep confusion followed by a complete understanding.
Of course Nana wasnt a unique nickname. It was a special caste of elders, an elite group of grandparents, roaming the Earth with every intent of spoiling their grandchildren to ensure revenge on their own kids. On the way, they took time to teach life lessons and generally brighten up the world.
What, then, were the characteristics of a Nana?
First, a Nana had to be a grandmother. No grandfather that I knew or had heard of was a Nana. Thats logic for you.
Next, a Nana must be able to cook. And not just cook, but cook delicious meals. I can scarcely remember a time when I visited her that I did not gorge myself on lasagna or a casserole. It was often an impossible task to keep Nana out of the kitchen, even when she needed to rest.
Next, a Nana must be infinitely patient with her grandchildren, and greatly indulgent. She delighted in telling me stories of my stubborn demands for a poached egg sandwich prepared just so and my refusal to accept anything less than perfection from a square of cheese on that sandwich. The only way she could have put up with that is through some kind of special Nana powers.
A Nana must be a free spirit. Nana rarely, if ever, let anyone else dictate her actions. She knew what she wanted out of life, and she went after it with a surprising vigour all her life.
A Nana must be knowledgeable in many fields. From paintings to religions to UFOs, Nana was never at a loss for words, no matter how strange the topic. I was never bored with Nana around.
A Nana must have a sense of humour. Few people on this planet can contend with my often bizarre sense of humour, but Nana could crack jokes with the best of them.
A Nana is also artistic. Im sure just about everyone in this room has a piece of art by Ruth. One of her favourite stories to tell me involved her painting a mural for my room when I was very young. She was painting a bat on the wall, and asked me what colour it should be. For some unfathomable reason, I said pink. Nana toiled away on the pink bat, but when she was done I suddenly decided I wanted a grey bat. Nana washed the bat off the wall and walked away. Theres a valuable lesson I learned from her: dont be indecisive or youll lose out!
A Nana has a single-minded drive to spoil her grandchildren. When my brother was born, he didnt have solid food for a long time. After months and months of this, it was Nana who gave him his first solid foodice cream! Nana often took care of us, babysat us and sometimes let us run a little wild. My brother and I would often complain, But NANA let us do it! when our parents disciplined us. The long-suffering looks on their faces just proved that Nana was reaching her goal.
This is not to say that Nana was a pushover! In fact, the next characteristic of a Nana is an unwavering sense of fairness. She was more than capable of staring us down when we got out of hand, and didnt tolerate nonsense or self-pity. I certainly had several moments of needless drama cut short by an eye roll and an, Oh, get over yourself!
But above all, even above the drive to spoil her grandchildren, a Nana is a loving, caring individual. Throughout our lives, she has been there to support us, to encourage us and to keep us together. Through her sheer force of will and love, Nana formed the nucleus of our family, keeping us close no matter how far away we lived. I know we will follow her example and stay a tight-knit family.
Nanas last words to me were, Matthew, its been a pleasure knowing you.
As I made my goodbyes with a simple, Thank you. I love you, I knew that these words could not possibly express my gratitude and my grief. Even now, I dont know how to say it.
You made the world a better world. You made my life a better life. To borrow your own words, it has been a pleasure knowing you. A pleasure and an honour.
Thank you.
For everything.
I was very close to my grandmother. She was a wonderful person. Anyone who met her, even briefly, was inevitably struck by her awesome nature. This was my tribute to her. It's not much, but I would like to share it here. Maybe it will help you see her with my eyes, but no words can capture her essence.
When I was younger, I thought that Nana was Ruths real name.
Later on, when I had learned this wasnt true, I thought Nana was my grandmothers own unique nickname, that no one else had. When I finally discovered that this wasnt the case, I had a moment of deep confusion followed by a complete understanding.
Of course Nana wasnt a unique nickname. It was a special caste of elders, an elite group of grandparents, roaming the Earth with every intent of spoiling their grandchildren to ensure revenge on their own kids. On the way, they took time to teach life lessons and generally brighten up the world.
What, then, were the characteristics of a Nana?
First, a Nana had to be a grandmother. No grandfather that I knew or had heard of was a Nana. Thats logic for you.
Next, a Nana must be able to cook. And not just cook, but cook delicious meals. I can scarcely remember a time when I visited her that I did not gorge myself on lasagna or a casserole. It was often an impossible task to keep Nana out of the kitchen, even when she needed to rest.
Next, a Nana must be infinitely patient with her grandchildren, and greatly indulgent. She delighted in telling me stories of my stubborn demands for a poached egg sandwich prepared just so and my refusal to accept anything less than perfection from a square of cheese on that sandwich. The only way she could have put up with that is through some kind of special Nana powers.
A Nana must be a free spirit. Nana rarely, if ever, let anyone else dictate her actions. She knew what she wanted out of life, and she went after it with a surprising vigour all her life.
A Nana must be knowledgeable in many fields. From paintings to religions to UFOs, Nana was never at a loss for words, no matter how strange the topic. I was never bored with Nana around.
A Nana must have a sense of humour. Few people on this planet can contend with my often bizarre sense of humour, but Nana could crack jokes with the best of them.
A Nana is also artistic. Im sure just about everyone in this room has a piece of art by Ruth. One of her favourite stories to tell me involved her painting a mural for my room when I was very young. She was painting a bat on the wall, and asked me what colour it should be. For some unfathomable reason, I said pink. Nana toiled away on the pink bat, but when she was done I suddenly decided I wanted a grey bat. Nana washed the bat off the wall and walked away. Theres a valuable lesson I learned from her: dont be indecisive or youll lose out!
A Nana has a single-minded drive to spoil her grandchildren. When my brother was born, he didnt have solid food for a long time. After months and months of this, it was Nana who gave him his first solid foodice cream! Nana often took care of us, babysat us and sometimes let us run a little wild. My brother and I would often complain, But NANA let us do it! when our parents disciplined us. The long-suffering looks on their faces just proved that Nana was reaching her goal.
This is not to say that Nana was a pushover! In fact, the next characteristic of a Nana is an unwavering sense of fairness. She was more than capable of staring us down when we got out of hand, and didnt tolerate nonsense or self-pity. I certainly had several moments of needless drama cut short by an eye roll and an, Oh, get over yourself!
But above all, even above the drive to spoil her grandchildren, a Nana is a loving, caring individual. Throughout our lives, she has been there to support us, to encourage us and to keep us together. Through her sheer force of will and love, Nana formed the nucleus of our family, keeping us close no matter how far away we lived. I know we will follow her example and stay a tight-knit family.
Nanas last words to me were, Matthew, its been a pleasure knowing you.
As I made my goodbyes with a simple, Thank you. I love you, I knew that these words could not possibly express my gratitude and my grief. Even now, I dont know how to say it.
You made the world a better world. You made my life a better life. To borrow your own words, it has been a pleasure knowing you. A pleasure and an honour.
Thank you.
For everything.