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Its 4:03 am in Halifax. I enjoyed a blissful two weeks or so where my new pills managed to put me to sleep. My body seems to have adjusted to them, however, and I'm back to my old insomniac ways.

I can hear someone at my front door, i assume the paperboy. I can't imagine starting my day at 4:00.

I've decided that I will...
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cosmia:
Are you back?
ian_g:
are you guys on FB?
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Happy New Year! Hope everyone had fun without paying tooooooo high a price the next day. I went to that party, and even had a pretty good time. I didn't really know anybody, and it was horribly awkward for a while, but, well, in the immortal worlds of Earl Hickey: Never underestimate 15 beers.



Edit: I didn't actually have 15 beers. That would be crazy....
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deboraborealis:
i cant believe i'm not the only one! high 5. yes i saw the fireworks, they were glorious. everyone in town had some remark to make about the new year. and tortimer gave me some party poppers to pull. but i pulled them all earlier that day because i was excited, and i wanted to make room in my pockets for all the fish i was catching that afternoon. anyway, it was truly a great night.
tilpacer:
Glad to hear you had a great New Years! biggrin

Have a awesome year! biggrin
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Merry Christmas and (almost) Happy New Year!

I hope everyone's Christmas either eventful or uneventful, depending on the type of christmas you prefer.

Mine was mostly uneventful, which was fine by me.

It was great to see Sarah, even if only for a couple of days. Better than great, really, but it was hard to say goodbye again so quickly.

Good to see my brothers,...
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atticstar:
superstore? i saw one there the day before christmas!

no wii's to be found anywhere.....i love mine.... love love
deboraborealis:
hey speccy nice new picture!! happy new year. it sounds like you had a pleasant christmas. i was going to explain about the bbc but beck probably did it better than i ever could.
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I need a new profile pic. That one's pretty blurry, but i left my camera in Ontario and all my digital photos are on my old computer. Sarah's bringing my camera with her when she comes on Christmas eve, though.(!)

I tracked down that gum at a specialty candy store in my are called the "Freak Lunchbox." Its unflavoured, but not really flavourless....
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deboraborealis:
did you know i am a rock star? no camera tricks necessary. happy xmas to you & sarah xx
cosmia:
Aw, thanks for the card, I love Hoops + Yoyo (is that what they're called?) Soooo cute! Hope you're having a lovely Christmas!
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lhell:
I know you're not trying to sound mean, and neither am I... despite how everything both of us has written seems that way. Bear in mind though... "my idea of what constitutes a friendship" can hardly be determined solely by your experience. I've really only known you a little over a year... so don't assume I've always been this way. It's only been within the past few years that I decided not to let anyone get too close, or to get too close to anyone.
atticstar:
i browsed the big chain stores and futureshop/bestbuy are crazy expensive. i think i'll have to get them from thesource.....

my mom's pair is rca and they seem to have good reviews
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Continuing on...

So while I was experiencing this meal-time ritual for the first time I noticed that 'Earl', whom I already despised, but at this point still had no real reason to, was being a real dick to everybody. This wasn't that unusual, there were numerous verbal conflicts between patients constantly going on, but what was wierd was that nobody ever said anything back to...
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lhell:
Did you ever figure out what the fuck was the reason for earl even being there??

You know, one of these times you ought to answer me on msn. wink
cosmia:
Oh, the bizarreness. I hope you're doing ok. Guess what? We have Tim Horton's in Ireland too! We have concessions in newsagents (umm, convenience stores?) and a big one in Dublin Zoo! Random, eh? And how fab was that goldfish-bauble? I hope that really exists.
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So a few weeks ago I had the opportunity to spend some time in the psychiatric ward of the Rouge Hill Ajax Hospital. I thought I would share the experience with the three people on here that read my blog...

A warning: its pretty long....

I was at first very excited to be there, because it meant that I could have my pants back, which...
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lhell:
Conclusion!!! skull
cosmia:
Hello hello, how are you doing? I was going to relate an amusing anecdote but I forgot what it was.. Are you excited about Christmas? I'm not. I opened my chocolate advent calendar this morning, and guess what was behind the door?

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Its been a while since I posted, which is kind of ironic, since I finally have things to write about.

First, thanks to everyone that sent me messages and comments. When you're in a dark place a few kind words can make a big difference, and since I don't really have any friends in the real world, kind words were in short supply.

I was...
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northern:
I offered, through Sarah, to send you a Christmas card. Want one? Sending cards is one of my favourite parts of Christmas. Yeah, sounds lame.

Glad you're doing alright, or at least it sounds like you are.

You're absolutely right - you were too reliant on Sarah. Glad you mentioned it first, cuz I wanted to, but couldn't figure out how to say it in a way that wouldn't sound harsh.

If you want to go out and get a job, then do it. Yes, you need to work on getting better, and activity is one of the best ways to do that. A job would be a great idea. It keeps you busy. You're not going to get better just staring at the wall and going stir-crazy.

Going to school would also be a great way to spend your time. Even if you just took a single course. Even if you just took some evening adult-ed just-for-fun course, it would give you something to do.

One thing that helps me is a drop-in centre here in town for adults with a mental illness. I'm sure there must be something like that around you. Yes, I know it means being around other people. But it might be worth the risk.

Good luck! Feel free to talk to me anytime you feel.
cosmia:
Hahahaha..biscuits? I'm not sure if we have what you would call "biscuits". Judging from the picture, I would say "scone". I may need to investigate further.
PS: I bought American stamps, send me your address!
PPS: If you want.
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I have been struggling with whether to write about this or not. Originally I had planned to; I find writing here to be somewhat therapeutic, which is why i encouraged Sarah to write about it in her blog.

When I actually tried to write about it, I found it far too difficult to do so, I'm not sure why. But since it happened I haven't...
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dusti:
I think posting a journal entry like this is brave. Self-reflection is definately important. And a supportive community is a good place to begin to explore the truth. I would think that sometimes rational thinking and reason do not have a place in situations such as these. The most important part is that you are looking after yourself. In every way possible. If not for yourself (for the moment), then for those you love. Eventually, it will be for the love of you. Because love (in its many forms, shapes, sizes) is life.
When I teach and practice yoga, I begin with an intention.
~ Lokaha samasta sukhino bhavantu ~
May all beings be happy and free. May the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute to this happiness and this freedom for all.

Now this intention will specifically include you. Be well. Look after yourself (!!!). *hug*
northern:
How are you doing these days?
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tilpacer:
Stay strong dude. smile Get better.
cosmia:
Hey, I hope you're doing ok. I'll miss you loads if you're not on SG!
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Clearly I'm not meant to have a job.

Can someone explain to me how I can have more than 10 years retail experience, 3 of those in management, and yet I can't even get a job shelving cd's at Musicworld? Other than the evil key place, I haven't even gotten any interviews, even though I applied to dozens of places that advertised they were hiring....
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librarygirl:
smile
cosmia:
Sorry I missed your birthday! Happy birthday! And no, no murders so London was fab!
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Clearly I'm not meant to have a job.

Can someone explain to me how I can have more than 10 years retail experience, 3 of those in management, and yet I can't even get a job shelving cd's at Musicworld? Other than the evil key place, I haven't even gotten any interviews, even though I applied to dozens of places that advertised they were hiring....
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