@missy & @rambo gave us our new SG blog topic!
I promised in my last blog that this one would be a good one, and well...I wrote it out on paper before this so it's definitely a long and good one haha.
I'll start it with the newest big of SG blog homework! "How has SG changed your life?"
Lol, shit. I don't even know where to start (i didn't write this part out on paper with the other part of this blogasaurus xp).
SuicideGirls has changed my life in NUMEROUS ways. To when i first discovered SG and fell in love with the idea of having crazy colored hair, piercings and tattoos. I was bullied a lot in middle school, and 8th grade year in general for me was really tough after my step dad killed himself. Always being called weird among the countless things that children bully other children for. SG changed my life first by helping me accept what was "weird" about me.
The second time SG changed my life was after I had my daughter Rianne. I always had self esteem issues but after gaining all that weight (and losing it fairly easy as well, but besides my point) that self esteem lowered even more at first. I hated my stretch marks, how my stomach has a pooch now, etc. I started seeing SG pop up again but this time on facebook. That's when i saw the real beauty to SuicideGirls other than just how they looked, I saw the confidence they had in their bodies. Then I remembered I need to be proud of how I look, especially now that I'm a mother. SG helped me fully gain the confidence I will one day need to show my daughter to have when she goes through her own self esteem issues.
Now? SG has changed my life in more ways than I can even thank them for. It's a family to me. I've met so many amazing people, member and SG/hopefuls alike, and I've made such wonderful friends that even if I haven't met them yet, or talked to them in a while..they're still so dear to me. And some of the things I have heard on this site from some members and the girls have actually been some of the most kind, inspiring things I've ever been told by someone who isn't my boyfriend or a relative. All these weird, fucked up in our ways souls are the most beautiful souls I've ever seen. And as far as all of the girls go, there are only a few girls outside of SG i hang out with or talk to on a regular basis, if even a regular enough basis at that..but all of these girls i can talk to every day, and i'm excited to hear about their day or what's new in their life, and we can count on each-other for some boobs or booty to cheer one another up, or just for the hell of seeing some boobs and booty haha. I feel SG came completely into my life, or that I at least applied at the right because this is where i'm supposed to be. I feel inspired to do things that this time last year, I would have had so much doubt. I feel like SG has in so many different ways allowed me to let my soul shine the way it needed to shine.
(austin story in the spoiler)
- had a good 2nd week with my mom while she was here.
- ATX: Hotel Vegas SG party was Saturday night.
I always stress myself out the night before i go somewhere and basically up until i'm about to leave. The weather was shitty, and i wasn't sure if i'd be able to stop in san marcos on the way for the VS in the outlet mall because Onyx wasn't on the way yet and time and the stress OH STRESS i kept giving myself..lol.anyways.
Q suggests we go get pizza from the 7-11 right down the road. I'm stoned. He's stoned. Hell yeah. Well...while we were at the register waiting, the ring my mom had for 20 years, my 2nd time wearing that ring out...just breaks into pieces randomly. Let me backtrack an hour before this when I saw my mom. She saw me wearing the ring and was so happy, and had been telling me how it's supposed to bring me good energy. HAH! backtracking done. After a few minutes of me freaking out and saying how it was a sign of bad ju-ju, I pick up the pieces of ring as we grab our pizza and start to head back to the hotel. It started to rain, a lot. It was cold as shit too, which I do not get along with.
Shovel the slice of pizza into my mouth, put the last of my things for ATX in my bag and my purse. "I had an extra $20..FUCK. Where is it? FUCK."
I couldn't find it at the time so I assumed I already lost it or maybe i was just giving myself another thing to stress out about "Fine. Doesn't matter anyway, Onyx is here." We had time to stop at the VS in San Marcos though, which was cool. Have I ever mentioned that I hate shopping? Or really going in alone, that's why I love to shop online haha. That and I over spent a bit.
Fast Foward to Hotel Vegas!
I see Alissa, Katherine, Voce, Ellsia, Dazed and her BFF Emily. &SAP Glass too! I didn't even plan on drinking a lot, and if i was; i was going to pace myself out. I'm really good about my liquor if i pace myself after a few drinks. Had one OJ& Vodka.
Went to get another with Dazed and Emily as we got "Malkie?" the tall, drunk Scotsman chattin us up haha. awkward, but interesting I'll give him that. Bartender messed my drink up and gave me a double. Yeesh, definitely didn't want that much. Drank barely any of it and ended up leaving it outside because I didn't want to get sick. Had started getting light headed (which happens to me all the time, i should admit) and got that gassy bubble feeling in my stomach so i went inside to sit down.
Onyx and SAP got nachos and here's where i made a mistake. They had avocado and jalapenos on them. Which I absolutely hate! But i was stoned as fuck, and they offered so I said yes; as i ate the chips with the most cheese and least extras lol. WELL.
The bad ju-ju started to rear its' ugly head. I knew I shouldn't have said yes to the nachos. (thanks though anyway, seriously, plus i was too high to refuse :PP) I'd say we were about half way, a little more than half done with the photobooth thing we were doing &they gave us a shot to hold. I smelt it and as soon as that photo was taken I hauled my ass to go wait in the line for the restroom stall. So i got to puke, and UGH. Then my back started hurting so bad, on top of also being cold as FUCK because i, uh.. "lost" my cardigan lol. It wasn't even being sick that kept me feeling like crap, it was the back pain and being so cold.
I was standing out by the bathroom in case I did get sick again, when this random girl standing next to me asked if i was ok.
"I'm just cold and my back hurts so bad."
You know what she did? She gave me her jacket! Holy shit, what a nice lady!
"Can i pray for you?"
"Uh, sure?"
"What should i pray for?"
"My warmth." And so she did. I'm not religious so it was a little random but she did give me her jacket and was kind, so i let it happen haha.
After that I pretty much hid from everyone and relaxed in Onyx's car. Which, like 30 minutes before they came out ("they" also included River_ which i didn't realize at first cause i barely wanted to move) I turned on Onyx's car for some heat. Guess I passed out for about 10 of those minutes because i killed her car battery D: I felt so bad! and i was in so much back pain! We got a jump though, so that was good :3
I was supposed to stay over at Apollo's because I was going to shoot a set with Alissa the next day but i didn't hear back from her (that bad ju-ju man..lol). It was like 3 or 4 in the morning and I was still in a lot of pain so I just said fuck it and went back to SA with Onyx.
Slept that whole next day, then the day after that I went to dinner with my mom and my step sister. It was nice since neither of us had seen my step sister in a long time and it was my mom's last night in town.
Also, i had busted my lip from biting it so much while it was dry. Bad ju-ju galore that day for sure ): lol.
but did i mention the awesome thing? i found my $20 back at the hotel under my junk mail in the kitchen while i was cleaning! haha :D
SO! HERE'S THE EXCITING PART OF MY BLOG! CAN YOU TELL IT'S EXCITING FROM THE CAPS LOCK!? I keed, but seriously.
I picked 12 sets that are coming out at least within the next 3 weeks that I'm highly stoked for (there are so many others but look how long this blog is already!) &like 3 random selfies. probably out of order, so i apologize. BUT HERE'S SOME AWESOME SETS TO LOOK FORWARD TO!<3
@dazed
@river_
@pyke
@sawa (DUDE HELL YES SO EXCITED!)
@zephi
@caia
@lua
@fridah
@damsel, @brewin, @dimples
@discoverelle
@helix_
@violetvixsin
more basket philosophy: "SAME SHIT. DIFFERENT BASKET."
Time to end this with a question as usual: "Would you be able to forgive the person who hurt you most in any way right this minute if they were right in front of you and this was their only chance at being able to know if they were forgiven or not?"
GOOD VIBES AS ALWAYS LOVES<3
-Ramen
