rainwolfkin

today i pictured myself standing on top of the city.

and seeing freedom. passion fueling drive. and falling...

i tried it once. i sometimes wonder if she remembers it the way i do. so close to finale, and then to have my soul crumble in someone elses arms.

i can never forget that feeling.

and such a strange way to be. for all my love of sharp metallic objects. and my lack of connection to sky.

maybe it's falling face first to earth. a homecoming.

maybe its the irony of it all.

maybe it's the realization that 'all' isn't really that big after all.

i'm shedding my skin again. i wonder how many times i might have to do it before it stops hurting.

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in my dreams it is the same building over and over. a different facet of the same thing.

i know the door which scares me the most. my brother showed it to me. and i know what is behind it.

where does the strength come from?

and where are you now?

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i remember talking of eyes being sewn shut. but i can't picture that now. perhaps i've ripped off my eyelids in efforts to see.

perhaps i liked it better when there was so much that i hadn't seen. so much that i craved.

i see now.