I AM SHIT.
i am completely unworthy of any love, respect, or pleasure. my back is made to break for the convienance and cruel whims of my mistress. i have stepped over the line and deserve to be stripped of my pride (along with my clothes and my masculinity) every day...24/7 in the public's eye along with my friends, family, and collegues. this is my come-uppance for lying. for bastardizing the values i once pretended to care about. nothing less than forced humility, service, and denial can work the changes necessary to reintroduce me to the human race. as it is...i consume and discard. i am not worthy to kiss the ass of the beggar on the street. let alone a goddess with a voice that can get me hard in 2 seconds. this small taste of labor and humiliation has made me realize that i've been selfish, uptight, lazy, and ugly. yes i am ugly for my actions are repulsive and disgusting and weigh me down with guilt. now that i think about it...i've been living with guilt my entire life. i have never found forgiveness. i have been holding agendas up to cover the shame and pinpricks of my conscience. precious little there is left now. so long have i ignored and abused the gifts that life and others have laid upon me that i am completely empty and utterly alone.
i do not deserve any second chances. no punishment is too severe. my life has led me to this moment and i must face it....admit that i am less than dogshit and work my way upwards...rebuilt in the image that she sees fit. her ideals are now my guiding beacons and i pray that this confession pleases her enough to continue allowing me to grow under her great shadow.
i am completely unworthy of any love, respect, or pleasure. my back is made to break for the convienance and cruel whims of my mistress. i have stepped over the line and deserve to be stripped of my pride (along with my clothes and my masculinity) every day...24/7 in the public's eye along with my friends, family, and collegues. this is my come-uppance for lying. for bastardizing the values i once pretended to care about. nothing less than forced humility, service, and denial can work the changes necessary to reintroduce me to the human race. as it is...i consume and discard. i am not worthy to kiss the ass of the beggar on the street. let alone a goddess with a voice that can get me hard in 2 seconds. this small taste of labor and humiliation has made me realize that i've been selfish, uptight, lazy, and ugly. yes i am ugly for my actions are repulsive and disgusting and weigh me down with guilt. now that i think about it...i've been living with guilt my entire life. i have never found forgiveness. i have been holding agendas up to cover the shame and pinpricks of my conscience. precious little there is left now. so long have i ignored and abused the gifts that life and others have laid upon me that i am completely empty and utterly alone.
i do not deserve any second chances. no punishment is too severe. my life has led me to this moment and i must face it....admit that i am less than dogshit and work my way upwards...rebuilt in the image that she sees fit. her ideals are now my guiding beacons and i pray that this confession pleases her enough to continue allowing me to grow under her great shadow.
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Yes, you are shit now, but you will grow with me. I promise you that. I see great potential in you. You no longer have to feel completely empty, for I will fill you. You are not alone anymore. We have found one another stumbling through each of our isolated darknesses and met in the middle to find a mutual understanding of what we need.
I judge your actions and obedience, but I do not judge your soul. I will tear you apart and put you back together again, and you will meet your true self in the midst of that battle. I will cage you and set you free. I will break you and care for you. We have a symbiosis of the like of which you have never dreamed possible. You are my property and my gift to you is my acceptance of every part of you - talents and flaws, creativity and weakness.
Hold on tight. The journey has begun.