today i talked to the most unintelligent man in the universe.
and of course he's the last call of the day.
4:59pm
*ring*
this is brian how can i help you?
-yah hi, i was wondering um...if you uh guys have 30foot high columns.
i'm sorry our stocked columns stop at 14feet, what material were you looking for? fiberglass? wood? plastic?
-um. uhhhhhhhh.
can you give me the part number please?
-TMC...somethin er other. what does that stand for?
The Museum Collection and those are made of plaster sir.
-oh yeah. i see you have one here is 25inches. that's almost 30inches
sir? i thought you wanted 30 FEET.
-hey i have a question on two of these pedestal things.
ok
-what do you put on top? candlesticks?
well sir, you can put candlesticks, a pot, a plant, a picture, pretty much anything you want on top of it.
-oh ok. and these two i'm looking at (insert the appropriate part numbers) which one is higher?
well sir, one is 10 7/8" and the other is 15"
-yeah. so um....which one is higher?
sir the 15" pedestal is higher
[at this point he breaks and switches to the plaster busts we sell]
-um, what's the story behind this david bust?
what do you need to know sir?
-well i mean, who is he?
david was a famous israelite that was captured by michangelo, he slew goliath the giant.
-aha. um so like what about venus...who's she?
venus is a myth based in greek culture
-um are these contemporary?
not really....they are antiquated.
-do you have anything contemporary?
only what you see in the catalog sir. and i'm afraid i'm not a great judge of what your customer may consider "contemporary" have you shown them the catalog?
-yeah
and? which items did they show interest in?
-uh...well all of em
ok.....
[insert awkward silence for about 30mintues before he gives me his credit card info and places the order]
15 minutes later i finally get to leave work.
what a fucking dumbass. i felt like saying
"sir?! is there a heavy and/or blunt object near you? there is? oh goodie. now listen very carefully. i want you to pick it up and use it to beat the ever-loving heck out of your skull-case"
wow. i'm better now.
tonight, cute girl, food, and movies.
and of course he's the last call of the day.
4:59pm
*ring*
this is brian how can i help you?
-yah hi, i was wondering um...if you uh guys have 30foot high columns.
i'm sorry our stocked columns stop at 14feet, what material were you looking for? fiberglass? wood? plastic?
-um. uhhhhhhhh.
can you give me the part number please?
-TMC...somethin er other. what does that stand for?
The Museum Collection and those are made of plaster sir.
-oh yeah. i see you have one here is 25inches. that's almost 30inches
sir? i thought you wanted 30 FEET.
-hey i have a question on two of these pedestal things.
ok
-what do you put on top? candlesticks?
well sir, you can put candlesticks, a pot, a plant, a picture, pretty much anything you want on top of it.
-oh ok. and these two i'm looking at (insert the appropriate part numbers) which one is higher?
well sir, one is 10 7/8" and the other is 15"
-yeah. so um....which one is higher?
sir the 15" pedestal is higher
[at this point he breaks and switches to the plaster busts we sell]
-um, what's the story behind this david bust?
what do you need to know sir?
-well i mean, who is he?
david was a famous israelite that was captured by michangelo, he slew goliath the giant.
-aha. um so like what about venus...who's she?
venus is a myth based in greek culture
-um are these contemporary?
not really....they are antiquated.
-do you have anything contemporary?
only what you see in the catalog sir. and i'm afraid i'm not a great judge of what your customer may consider "contemporary" have you shown them the catalog?
-yeah
and? which items did they show interest in?
-uh...well all of em
ok.....
[insert awkward silence for about 30mintues before he gives me his credit card info and places the order]
15 minutes later i finally get to leave work.
what a fucking dumbass. i felt like saying
"sir?! is there a heavy and/or blunt object near you? there is? oh goodie. now listen very carefully. i want you to pick it up and use it to beat the ever-loving heck out of your skull-case"
wow. i'm better now.
tonight, cute girl, food, and movies.

But seriously folks. i've heard some silly crap from people working telephone tech support. There should be a minimum IQ requirement for anybody using complex technology, like computers, phones, flatware, etc.