ragdoll96923

I am reading "Women who run with the wolves"
by: Clarissa Pinkola Estes

here are some quotes that I am feeling...

" A womans issue of soul cannot be treated by carving her into a more acceptable form as defined by an unconscious culture, nor can she be bent into more intellectually acceptable shape by those who claim to be the sole bearers of consciousness."

" Even the most supressed woman has a secret life, with secret thoughts and secret feelings which are lush and wild, that is, natural. Even the most captured woman guartds the place of the wildish self, for she knows intuitively that someday there will be a loophole, and aperture, a chance, and she will hightail it to escape."


"Say if for instance, a naive woman keeps making poor choices in a mate. Somewhere in her mind she knows this pattern is fruitless, that she should stop and follow a different value. She often even knows how to proceed. But there is something compelling, a sort of Bluebeardian mesmerization, about continuing the destructive pattern. In most cases, the soman feels if she just holds on to the old pattern a little longer, why surely the paradiscal feeling she seeks will appear in the next heartbeat."



There is so much I want to say.
There is so much I need to get out. And right now I have nowhere to turn it feels like. I wont write what I have to say here because now this is no longer a safe haven for me to speak as I wish. I suppose I will write in an old journal of mine. If anyone of my pals on here would like to read it just im me and lmk and i'll send you the link.

I'll still update in here. It just wont be a place for me to speak freely. I've never put anything too intelligible in here but that wasnt what it was about to me. What SG was about was freedom. The freedom to say what I wanted to even if it was really nothing. Now I feel as though that has been taken.



Well things have been up and down as usual.
I have work. That is good. I plan on eventually looking into some volunteer things around here. I want to get out there and make a difference in peoples lives. First I need to make sure things are alright before I make commitments.

I'm also in the market for friends
I dont know anyone here and it gets pretty lonely.
I try to occupy myself during my free time by reading. (which I enjoy) but it seems like the more I read to occupy myself, the more the enjoyment is taken out of it.

I hope all is well with everyone out there.

I havent gotten around to writing anything like I promised. Just some nonesense Im sure I'm not allowed to post on SG for personal reasons.

I'm trying to muster up the strength to bare my soul to a pad of paper...
wish me luck

xoxo
Lyric

edited for some of the tpyos