went to a pretty fucking awesome party tonight. an anniversary for mega models miami. holy shit that was some sensory overload. talked to quite a few girls about shooting. word is the season has been quite slow so far. that makes it much easier to do test shoots for my portfolio. the bad thing about it is that it won't be easy to get assisting work and I really really need that now to pay the bills. i've been unsustainable for way too long. could be quite disastrous. hopefully some of these girls will be willing to pay for shoots though *crosses fingers*. i ran into a couple girls that i talked to about shooting before. both of them would be great for what i want to do, and i don't know how to make up my mind which one to use for this. one of those girls I'm really so attracted to. i wish we met through different circumstances, like through a friend. i think you really have to let them take the lead if you are working together. and there's no vibe so far. there often is a flirtation of course when you are shooting fashion so i guess that helps but it just has to be pretty real for them. it might be best to shoot the girl i'm not sweating, i dunno. i was really hoping to see julia there... a model i worked with two years ago when i was assisting. we went to a smaill island in the bahamas. i was in a room below her and the lights kept going off. she was deathly afraid of the dark and i went and rescued her with a candle. we had a great talk, and i wish the lights stayed off longer. 