(Cross posted from my Live Journal. It's not like the meaning of the staged reading changed significantly between these two blogging platforms)
Expansion. That is/was the theme of the reading.
The afterglow of the staged reading on Saturday is starting to wear off. It's being replaced with a sense of planning. I am living in that next steps phase. What do I do now. How do I do it. What needs to happen. But more on that later.
The stakes of the reading didn't manifest themselves until a couple of minutes before I had to go up. I was presenting for the first time ever to a group of people the entire full length (even at Shitty First Draft status) version of my first ever solo show.
Everybody was showering heaps of praise on me, after the reading. It was weird hearing what everyone was saying about the show. They did love it, just so you know, but the praise they were delivering, it felt like...did yall hear the same show I just read to them? It's not adding up in my head!
I wanted to write a show, would've liked to mount it on stage for a run. I was more worried about it sucking and people hating it, and by extension hating me. I wanted it to be funny, etc etc etc. I had a certain amount of expectations for the show, and what everyone was telling me absolutely exceeded the expectations I ever could have had for it.
Here's an example, but during the creation of the show, I was kind of worried/self-conscious that my show didn't have a 'social message' so to speak. That it was all just self-indulgent and masturbatory accounts of my life. But at the show multiple said how my show could be a great service in the mental health field - I humanize what it's like to be depressed/bi-polar/suicidal. That's great! And I didn't mean to do that on purpose!
My dear friend and fellow solo performer (whom I adore) Coke said she cried throughout the performance, and called the show a Tour de Force. As she said that a tear was rolling down her face.
Expansion.
The stakes of the staged reading didn't just rise that day. But I feel like the stakes in the show, what I can do with this, and even with how I see myself as a person all rose because of this reading. And the last thing I want people to think is that this is coming from a place of hubris; this is Paolo you are talking to after all.
I guess this means I should cut it out with that self-deprecation shit, huh? Now it's on to the next steps.
EDIT: After looking through my Moleskine, I realize that the events that take place in the main story of my show took place on December 19th. Which makes that my mom's death anniversary. The staged reading was on Saturday December 12th. One week difference. It's been just about a year since the main story took place. Cosmic fate, oh you!
Expansion. That is/was the theme of the reading.
The afterglow of the staged reading on Saturday is starting to wear off. It's being replaced with a sense of planning. I am living in that next steps phase. What do I do now. How do I do it. What needs to happen. But more on that later.
The stakes of the reading didn't manifest themselves until a couple of minutes before I had to go up. I was presenting for the first time ever to a group of people the entire full length (even at Shitty First Draft status) version of my first ever solo show.
Everybody was showering heaps of praise on me, after the reading. It was weird hearing what everyone was saying about the show. They did love it, just so you know, but the praise they were delivering, it felt like...did yall hear the same show I just read to them? It's not adding up in my head!
I wanted to write a show, would've liked to mount it on stage for a run. I was more worried about it sucking and people hating it, and by extension hating me. I wanted it to be funny, etc etc etc. I had a certain amount of expectations for the show, and what everyone was telling me absolutely exceeded the expectations I ever could have had for it.
Here's an example, but during the creation of the show, I was kind of worried/self-conscious that my show didn't have a 'social message' so to speak. That it was all just self-indulgent and masturbatory accounts of my life. But at the show multiple said how my show could be a great service in the mental health field - I humanize what it's like to be depressed/bi-polar/suicidal. That's great! And I didn't mean to do that on purpose!
My dear friend and fellow solo performer (whom I adore) Coke said she cried throughout the performance, and called the show a Tour de Force. As she said that a tear was rolling down her face.
Expansion.
The stakes of the staged reading didn't just rise that day. But I feel like the stakes in the show, what I can do with this, and even with how I see myself as a person all rose because of this reading. And the last thing I want people to think is that this is coming from a place of hubris; this is Paolo you are talking to after all.
I guess this means I should cut it out with that self-deprecation shit, huh? Now it's on to the next steps.
EDIT: After looking through my Moleskine, I realize that the events that take place in the main story of my show took place on December 19th. Which makes that my mom's death anniversary. The staged reading was on Saturday December 12th. One week difference. It's been just about a year since the main story took place. Cosmic fate, oh you!