I’ve suffered from anxiety and panic attacks since I was 21. I was a junior in college and they began to creep up during commutes, in class, in some social situations and at night.
What goes through my mind during a panic attack is “I’m having a heart attack, someone on this bus/train is going kill me, and people will notice me freaking out. All of this feels a million times worse at night. It’s dark, the dangerous people are out and I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die.”
The physical systems: fast heartbeats, muscle tightness in chest, fingers, legs, sweaty hands, troubling breathing and inability to concentrate and a feeling of dread.
I tried driving tonight to see a friend on a long road the passed an expressway, forest preserve and an airport. I needed to get to 127th street. I turned back at 33th. I could barely drive and I only imagine what would’ve happened if I’d continued.
Diet and fitness helps and I’ve honestly been slacking of late (blame my day job!). For nearly a decade, I took Xanax. That stuff is not a solution. I makes you sleepy and you must be weaned off it. I’ve been taking Lexapro 10mg for a few years and it’s worked enough for me to function.
I remember when this started happening years ago, I couldn’t leave the house for fear of having an attack. It cripples you and kills your social life. Life shouldn’t be this way.
I know I’m not the only one who deals with this but I didn’t use to. I thought I was the only one. I thought telling my family or friends would result in them thinking I’m crazy. I now know keeping this inside just made it worse. Telling someone, getting help, going to a professional, getting the right meds and improving your lifestyle makes it better.
I enjoyed Avengers: Infinity War. Lol