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rabbiteleven

It's on the Monopoly board.

Member Since 2009

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Thursday Jun 03, 2010

Jun 3, 2010
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I have, for various reasons, been watching lots of 90's era movies lately, and have decided to do one sentence reviews of them from the point of view of the jaded old bastard I am right now. Here we go!

Hackers: A group of raver trust fund kids who have clearly played Shadowrun too much go toe-to-toe with the Indian scientist from Short Circuit.

Jurassic Park: A bunch of dinosaurs do their very best to eat some annoying children, as well as Jeff Goldblum's bare chest and pompadour, while Samuel Jackson chain-smokes due to the irritating fact that he's not allowed to say 'motherfucker' at all.

Twelve Monkeys: The movie that showed men everywhere that even with a lazy eye, DIY haircut, and severe mental illness, Brad Pitt is roughly ten times hotter than we could ever hope to be.

Pulp Fiction: This movie is so annoyingly over-quoted that I didn't even need to watch it-I just invited my friends out for coffee and then sat there for a few hours until the film's audio magically reformed like some kind of hipster T-1000.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: I learned two very important things from this cinematic gem: Casey Jones is awesome(though I think they made a mistake-crazy sports fans who like to run around the city hitting people are from Philly, NOT New York), and MC Hammer songs are not.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
higgs_boson:
I learned the word Goddammit from TMNT... Or was it dammit?... I like your synopsis.
Jun 9, 2010
higgs_boson:
No, no. That douche is long gone. This was the dean of my department where I research....
Jun 10, 2010

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