It's 4AM and I should be sleeping, but I can't.. I've got some major decisions to make and I'm not sure what to do. I have an oportunity to move back to Chicago, but for some damn reason I keep having second thoughts...
I'm going nuts out here, maybe it's because I live out in Plymouth Meeting in this big house all by myself, but there's more to it than that. I've never truly been happy here, whether I was living in the city or not.. Don't get me wrong, I've met some great people here, I've had some good times, I recovered from alcoholism here, but I've been feeling like it's just time to move on.
The reason I've considered Chicago is because I'd like to rebuild some kind of relationship with what little family I have left. The thought of giving it a try is pretty frightening, but I've got to at least try.
My mother and I have been on bad terms for the better part of the last 7 years, but there comes a point in time when you have to put the past behind you and salvage what's left. True, she's done some pretty awful things, but she's a sick person, I can't hold this shit against her forever.. I guess I never really put myself in her shoes untill now.
I got an invitation to her 3rd wedding, which is set for October 1st. Just the fact that I got an invitation was surprising, considering we were not even really on speaking terms for years. Part of me feels that it's time to go back and see if things will be any different this time. At the very least, I'll get to see some people I haven't seen in over 5 years.
I also have an oportunity to start another company in Chicago with a former co-worker, which is really getting me thinking..
I guess it all comes down to a few simple reasons for me not wanting to be here anymore.. I dunno.. I'm tired of thinking about this. I need to get some damn sleep so I can go to work tomorrow and finish some things in order to collect a progress payment.
I'm going nuts out here, maybe it's because I live out in Plymouth Meeting in this big house all by myself, but there's more to it than that. I've never truly been happy here, whether I was living in the city or not.. Don't get me wrong, I've met some great people here, I've had some good times, I recovered from alcoholism here, but I've been feeling like it's just time to move on.
The reason I've considered Chicago is because I'd like to rebuild some kind of relationship with what little family I have left. The thought of giving it a try is pretty frightening, but I've got to at least try.
My mother and I have been on bad terms for the better part of the last 7 years, but there comes a point in time when you have to put the past behind you and salvage what's left. True, she's done some pretty awful things, but she's a sick person, I can't hold this shit against her forever.. I guess I never really put myself in her shoes untill now.
I got an invitation to her 3rd wedding, which is set for October 1st. Just the fact that I got an invitation was surprising, considering we were not even really on speaking terms for years. Part of me feels that it's time to go back and see if things will be any different this time. At the very least, I'll get to see some people I haven't seen in over 5 years.
I also have an oportunity to start another company in Chicago with a former co-worker, which is really getting me thinking..
I guess it all comes down to a few simple reasons for me not wanting to be here anymore.. I dunno.. I'm tired of thinking about this. I need to get some damn sleep so I can go to work tomorrow and finish some things in order to collect a progress payment.