I feel about 2 inches tall right now, and it's all because I once again acted before I thought things through.. I threw a silly temper tantrum as a result of the new phone I ordered being defective, and before I allowed myself to calm down I wrote an email that was very upsetting to someone I love very much.. Why do I do things like this?? Why can't I just deal with one thing before I proceed to completely fuck up something else that has nothing to do with what I was angry about in the first place??
I've come to the conclusion that in addition to being too smart for my own good, there is something wrong with the wiring in my head that causes me to do things like this.. It didn't take much for me to solve the problem with the phone, in fact I could have handled that before I tried to do 3 other things and I wouldn't have acted like an asshole.. What really bothers me about all this is the fact that i will most likely obsess over it for the next few days, yet I'll probably do the same fucking thing again in a month or two! WTF??
I've come to the conclusion that in addition to being too smart for my own good, there is something wrong with the wiring in my head that causes me to do things like this.. It didn't take much for me to solve the problem with the phone, in fact I could have handled that before I tried to do 3 other things and I wouldn't have acted like an asshole.. What really bothers me about all this is the fact that i will most likely obsess over it for the next few days, yet I'll probably do the same fucking thing again in a month or two! WTF??
abyssia:
sounds to me like you're being a bit too hard on yourself. i don't see how obsessing over this could possibly help - and it doesn't seem like you do either! so why don't you just relax and um.. relax!!! yeah. its ok. and when you fuck up again, you'll apologize, and it will be ok all over again! oh, and if you're worried about the way your head is wired, you can always rewire it - it just takes a lot of patience and diligence. neurons that fire together, wire together. all you have to do is interrupt the firing sequence enough times and POW! you're rewired. doesn't that give you a warm fuzzy all over? 