r0nin

Well, the good news is that things can't easily get much worse for me! From here, the only way to go is up..

These are the things I have been repeating to myself all day, but they're not quite sinking in just yet..

I've never been one to admit when I'm really down, but this time there's no denying it anymore.. Seems like everybody sees it in my face lately. I'm not even sure why, but I've always been the one everyone else comes to for help, so I'm really not used to this.. I don't like feeling useless because it reminds me of the way I used to feel when I was a drunk/addict. I don't like feeling helpless for the same reason! What are we to do when we've exhausted all of our options, tried time and time again to put the pieces back together, yet it just keeps getting worse? Seems like not that long ago I was on top of the world.. Now for the first time in my life, I really have no idea what to do..

I've always been stubborn, some say too stubborn for my own good, but I'll always keep trying! Even though I feel like I'm beaten right now, I'm just gonna keep on going till I can't do anymore. Hopefuly things will work out, maybe they won't... who knows..