Ok, it only took two days since I discovered the whole bloggy thing. But I shall now start opening windows. I think Ill keep it simple and about myself for the first few. Till I get the hang of things. Like masturbation its best to figure these things out alone. Which I think I shall use that as my starting point. Sexuality, this is after all SG and I am after all fairly sure I know about my sexuality... I think.. I might be wrong, lets find out together 
My first brush with sexuality came when I exited my mothers vagina. It was a confusing time. But I did learn I should go at life head first. Fast forwarding past that though, about 6 years (give or take a year, those rugrat years are a little foggy... so much candy...) I was in my parents basement, playing with my toys. I got bored, and decided to break into my dads drawer. I found a big ol' collection of magazines. Tattoo (he is a tat artist so those were normal), Heavy Metal...I grew to like them as I became more comfortable with those things like...reading. And the one that really changed me, porn. Now keep in mind this was mid-late 80s. Porn mags still censored all the hardcore stuff but it raised my interest, I have always loved women. I was told stories of my baby years how I would ignore men and go right after women. But this was something new all together. I found the women in the magazines to be pretty, nearly angelic. So every day I would go back to them. It probably wasnt a healthy start, and it definitely imprinted notions that I later learned were un-realistic but it also gave me a ground base of comfort-ability in my own sexuality. It wasnt long after that that I got my first little girlfriend. We grew quite close...you know, for 6 year olds.... we would kiss in the playground. and (Im sure thanks to my not-yet-healthy porn addiction) she was the first real girl I saw naked. Curious kids are curious... Im not saying i was pooty-tang... We were quite close for 2 years. Then my dad got a new job, in a new town. I was crushed. As all 8 year olds are when they are being torn from their comfort zones. This was the start of a long dry period in my romantic life. After all, I didnt know how to act around NEW girls. I never needed to learn how to make friends, I was born into them.
My curiosity never ceased, I was young, I was attracted to women, I had my first notable wet dream when I was 9, about my cousin (pause for laughter... I regret nothing, she's hot) I didnt know what it meant, but it made me more uncomfortable around women in general. I always held women to a high light. But between my still insatiable love for the beautiful free women in the magazines (which of course I could now READ, which didnt help make educated sense basing my reality off of the sex stories there-in) and my growing attraction to real girls I became awkward. I was 10 and could define a blowjob (not fellatio, porn has no use for real terms) I knew positions by name. and I would masturbate till I had headaches. of course ejaculation didnt happen for a few more years, so I had no need of refractory periods. I even kept a soft stuffed toy with me, guess what went over well with the school kids.... All the while, I knew I couldnt talk to mom and dad. They would wonder where my questions came from, and then they would take away the mags. This behavior went on for a couple more years. Until I made a friend. With older, free spirited, hot as hell sisters.
I still thank the eldest of which (who is 4 years older than me) for giving me my first taste of foreplay. It was truth or dare and she dared me to let her eat an egg from my belly button. She even touched my leg when she did it. It was amazing... until she pointed, laughed, and drew everyones attention to the fact my pants were ripe for camping in.
Now I was officially awkward in general. I was shy, quiet, reserved. I would observe things around me, but not interject (this became a honed skill) I always had my sense of humor, but I was the dorky kid, so out of fear of rejection I stayed to myself, with only one or two close friends. My only sex ed came from a book mom bought me when dad caught me masturbating. it was enlightening, but with my already skewed view of man/woman relationships a christian based book using "love" and "marriage" alot only made me worse. I could now only talk to women as though I were interviewing them for marriage. I could not separate reality from fantasy, I didnt want sex, I wanted love. and sex. I was 13-15, and then mom bought me a tv/vcr for my room. I was upgrading from magazines to movies. Oddly it helped. It calmed me down, I had a more vivid outlet for my happy self time. And I quickly realised that life wasnt like a porno movie... I was still socially awkward. Couldnt talk to women, or make new friends easily. I played video games, alot. I did manage to break out of my shell, met girls,made friends. but I was still.... kooky. Then I found a good group of friends. They taught me socializing... by proxy of roleplaying
I learned that game quick (D&D) I knew how to disassociate myself from reality (been at it for years) and as such I learned how to interact with new people by interacting with friends pretending to be new people. This was my ticket. I was learning how to maintain my sense of character in situations not normally put in front of me. Which meant I could do it in real life. And did. I became the class clown.... Like Joker, I was terrible, I could make teachers cry, I called the class bully names and laughed at him while he hit me (always did have a high physical threshold for pain) I could make people laugh. I used the aggressive nature of my humor as a reckoning for the years of abuse, ignoring, belittling, and frustrations... high school girls started noticing... I however was still scared of them. I could joke with them, asking permission to hump their legs like I was a poodle. I even streaked through a girls swim meet. But if one talked to me, I wasnt me anymore. I was the kid with wood, and an egg in his belly. In those years I learned alot about my own sexuality. I could masturbate for hours without orgasm (because I learned that girls hate premature ejaculation) my previous experience with books and movies helped me look like a guru in sex ed. While kids laughed at the word "penis" I could recite most any erogenous zone on the male or female body with a straight face and even offer a great deal of slang. The teacher thought I was too educated. and so did alot of kids. I was still a virgin, and was teaching the cool sex-founded kids about...sex... but still, awkward with girls. I was either too shy, or too confident (picture Shai Labeouf trying to be The Fonze) so girls would usually only hold interest for a few minutes.
It was after graduation, I had many girl friends (note: not girlfriends. But girl. friends) And they didnt want anything more from me. I had started to become concerned. Like there was something wrong with me. I was no longer "gangly and nerd ugly" but I still kept getting tossed into the pile of friends. I still had porn, and video games, and roleplaying. But I thought I might be a virgin forever. or never know what its like to be loved. I was around then I met a friend, through a friend. He was cool, he always had girls with him (ya plural) we hit it off, I wasnt shy now, just awkward. I had confidence, but I lacked any courage to take a shot. One day at a party. He broke me out. taught me that eyecontact and a smile were the first keys to a girls interest. This worked. I didnt get the girl. But after a ridiculous attempt at her attention, and seeing her laugh I was ready. Her friend asked me out later that night. We didnt have sex, but I knew I was not a lost cause.
My first sexual experience was with one of my friends. We were close, she wanted me to move away with her and her family. I liked her, pretty, smart, social. And I knew she put out. so I moved. The night I got there she gave me my first BJ. It became my fetish. Seriously, Im weak. We lasted two years and she left me, She was sexual, but I was nuts, I wanted sex everywhere. I needed a relationship of exploration.
Holy shit. This is longer than I wanted. If you're reading this and made it this far. I give to you a cookie. If however you left, citing me as dumb and boring, then you will never know the secret of life. Which I will give you, right..........now
My first brush with sexuality came when I exited my mothers vagina. It was a confusing time. But I did learn I should go at life head first. Fast forwarding past that though, about 6 years (give or take a year, those rugrat years are a little foggy... so much candy...) I was in my parents basement, playing with my toys. I got bored, and decided to break into my dads drawer. I found a big ol' collection of magazines. Tattoo (he is a tat artist so those were normal), Heavy Metal...I grew to like them as I became more comfortable with those things like...reading. And the one that really changed me, porn. Now keep in mind this was mid-late 80s. Porn mags still censored all the hardcore stuff but it raised my interest, I have always loved women. I was told stories of my baby years how I would ignore men and go right after women. But this was something new all together. I found the women in the magazines to be pretty, nearly angelic. So every day I would go back to them. It probably wasnt a healthy start, and it definitely imprinted notions that I later learned were un-realistic but it also gave me a ground base of comfort-ability in my own sexuality. It wasnt long after that that I got my first little girlfriend. We grew quite close...you know, for 6 year olds.... we would kiss in the playground. and (Im sure thanks to my not-yet-healthy porn addiction) she was the first real girl I saw naked. Curious kids are curious... Im not saying i was pooty-tang... We were quite close for 2 years. Then my dad got a new job, in a new town. I was crushed. As all 8 year olds are when they are being torn from their comfort zones. This was the start of a long dry period in my romantic life. After all, I didnt know how to act around NEW girls. I never needed to learn how to make friends, I was born into them.
My curiosity never ceased, I was young, I was attracted to women, I had my first notable wet dream when I was 9, about my cousin (pause for laughter... I regret nothing, she's hot) I didnt know what it meant, but it made me more uncomfortable around women in general. I always held women to a high light. But between my still insatiable love for the beautiful free women in the magazines (which of course I could now READ, which didnt help make educated sense basing my reality off of the sex stories there-in) and my growing attraction to real girls I became awkward. I was 10 and could define a blowjob (not fellatio, porn has no use for real terms) I knew positions by name. and I would masturbate till I had headaches. of course ejaculation didnt happen for a few more years, so I had no need of refractory periods. I even kept a soft stuffed toy with me, guess what went over well with the school kids.... All the while, I knew I couldnt talk to mom and dad. They would wonder where my questions came from, and then they would take away the mags. This behavior went on for a couple more years. Until I made a friend. With older, free spirited, hot as hell sisters.
I still thank the eldest of which (who is 4 years older than me) for giving me my first taste of foreplay. It was truth or dare and she dared me to let her eat an egg from my belly button. She even touched my leg when she did it. It was amazing... until she pointed, laughed, and drew everyones attention to the fact my pants were ripe for camping in.
Now I was officially awkward in general. I was shy, quiet, reserved. I would observe things around me, but not interject (this became a honed skill) I always had my sense of humor, but I was the dorky kid, so out of fear of rejection I stayed to myself, with only one or two close friends. My only sex ed came from a book mom bought me when dad caught me masturbating. it was enlightening, but with my already skewed view of man/woman relationships a christian based book using "love" and "marriage" alot only made me worse. I could now only talk to women as though I were interviewing them for marriage. I could not separate reality from fantasy, I didnt want sex, I wanted love. and sex. I was 13-15, and then mom bought me a tv/vcr for my room. I was upgrading from magazines to movies. Oddly it helped. It calmed me down, I had a more vivid outlet for my happy self time. And I quickly realised that life wasnt like a porno movie... I was still socially awkward. Couldnt talk to women, or make new friends easily. I played video games, alot. I did manage to break out of my shell, met girls,made friends. but I was still.... kooky. Then I found a good group of friends. They taught me socializing... by proxy of roleplaying
I learned that game quick (D&D) I knew how to disassociate myself from reality (been at it for years) and as such I learned how to interact with new people by interacting with friends pretending to be new people. This was my ticket. I was learning how to maintain my sense of character in situations not normally put in front of me. Which meant I could do it in real life. And did. I became the class clown.... Like Joker, I was terrible, I could make teachers cry, I called the class bully names and laughed at him while he hit me (always did have a high physical threshold for pain) I could make people laugh. I used the aggressive nature of my humor as a reckoning for the years of abuse, ignoring, belittling, and frustrations... high school girls started noticing... I however was still scared of them. I could joke with them, asking permission to hump their legs like I was a poodle. I even streaked through a girls swim meet. But if one talked to me, I wasnt me anymore. I was the kid with wood, and an egg in his belly. In those years I learned alot about my own sexuality. I could masturbate for hours without orgasm (because I learned that girls hate premature ejaculation) my previous experience with books and movies helped me look like a guru in sex ed. While kids laughed at the word "penis" I could recite most any erogenous zone on the male or female body with a straight face and even offer a great deal of slang. The teacher thought I was too educated. and so did alot of kids. I was still a virgin, and was teaching the cool sex-founded kids about...sex... but still, awkward with girls. I was either too shy, or too confident (picture Shai Labeouf trying to be The Fonze) so girls would usually only hold interest for a few minutes.
It was after graduation, I had many girl friends (note: not girlfriends. But girl. friends) And they didnt want anything more from me. I had started to become concerned. Like there was something wrong with me. I was no longer "gangly and nerd ugly" but I still kept getting tossed into the pile of friends. I still had porn, and video games, and roleplaying. But I thought I might be a virgin forever. or never know what its like to be loved. I was around then I met a friend, through a friend. He was cool, he always had girls with him (ya plural) we hit it off, I wasnt shy now, just awkward. I had confidence, but I lacked any courage to take a shot. One day at a party. He broke me out. taught me that eyecontact and a smile were the first keys to a girls interest. This worked. I didnt get the girl. But after a ridiculous attempt at her attention, and seeing her laugh I was ready. Her friend asked me out later that night. We didnt have sex, but I knew I was not a lost cause.
My first sexual experience was with one of my friends. We were close, she wanted me to move away with her and her family. I liked her, pretty, smart, social. And I knew she put out. so I moved. The night I got there she gave me my first BJ. It became my fetish. Seriously, Im weak. We lasted two years and she left me, She was sexual, but I was nuts, I wanted sex everywhere. I needed a relationship of exploration.
Holy shit. This is longer than I wanted. If you're reading this and made it this far. I give to you a cookie. If however you left, citing me as dumb and boring, then you will never know the secret of life. Which I will give you, right..........now