During the last weeks, the main shopping street here in Linz was overrun with groups from different signature campaigns. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with them - and yes, I really DO think some of them are extremely meaningful - there is one thing that really bothers me.
Usually, I walk with my headphones on pretty much everywhere I go, simply to block out the noise a little bit. So, with some nice tunes in the ears, I stroll down the road, when suddenly the cutest girl imaginable jumps right in front of me, with a smile that just hits all the right buttons in my brain. Lovely eyes, pierced, full lips, just... simply to melt away. So I stop, put down my headphones, she shakes my hand and introduces herself. She knew exactly how to start some casual small talk, but after a few minutes it happened.
"Anyway, what I really wanted to ask you, do you know anything about XYZ?"
I just heard a vinyl scratching in my head. Or something shattering. Of course, right then I noticed the small plastic-ID clipped somewhere on her bag. And I felt like the biggest moron ever.
It's all schoodays again, when one of the cutest girls wrote me a love letter. Her "ex"-boyfriend was one of my better friends, so in my eyes she was taboo. But he kept telling me, I should give it a chance, maybe I was the right one. Heck, the whole thing even spread in other classes, so during recess, some talked to me, like "Hey, I heard she is totally into you! Good for you" and stuff like that.
As it turned out, it was nothing but a put-up job. My friend was still her boyfriend, the people in the other classes were their friends too, and it was all just to have a good laugh. He even asked me, if I was angry. I said no, with a huge lump in my throat, smallowing my tears while trying not to let my voice sound too shaky. The final slap was hin "Eh, I didn't think so anyway. I knew you wouldn't believe that someone like her would be actually interested in someone like you."
And for some reason, that is still true. Just once I want someone to talk to me like that because of me. Not because I'm an easy pray, the stupid punchline of a bad joke, or because they want something very specific from me, like in that case, my signature/bank connection/money.
But in the end, I know they would never do that. Because, how could I even start to think that people like them would be interested in someone like me?
