quinne

In my field of study...

In my belief system it is said that the state of mind you are in when you die affects what happens to your spirit next. I'm trying to find comfort in knowing Matt died happy as a clam.

I got his ashes back already. It's hard to connect my happy little guy with a tin full of ash. I don't know if its because we don't see the actual cremation or if I just don't want to believe it...But it is incredibly difficult to view this box on a shelf the same as I saw him. It is terribly depressing and just plain 'ol sad. That low down deep sad that is heavy in your chest and makes your nose sting while your eyes blur with tears.
I was wrong to think I had a good grasp on the concept of death.

My Jivamukti class this month focuses on death. Specifically the part of the Bhagavad Gita where Arjuna is afraid to die and unsure of what happens to you after you leave this body and mind. My teacher, Emily, has been particularly kind and understanding of my struggle. She just happened to have an essay written by her teacher on death and specifically the loss of a pet in her bag the night I told her Matt died.
I honestly don't know how I would process such a sudden, close death without my yoga practice and the guidance of my teachers and tutor.