i'm really depressed today, and i'm not sure if it is because my grandfather died.
i don't want to leave the house. i have work in 3 hours. i really just want to stay home and cuddle with the boy.
tomorrow he's being a sweetie and is driving to altoona with me for the viewing. wednesday is the funeral, and then i'm off to harrisburg for a few days.
this may seem awful to say about a dead person, but... i have no idea why this is affecting me so much. my grandfather was an awful selfish person that abused my mom.
i think maybe it hurts me because i know that in my lifetime there is never any chance of me having a loving typical grandpa/granddaughter relationship. also, with this death, i have absolutely no grandparents alive.
i really wish there had been some love there. i'm not going to con myself and think that he loved me either.
we barely ever spoke, and that sucks.
atleast i can take solice in that fact that my parents are very loving, and so my kids will have a good grandparents experience.
i don't want to leave the house. i have work in 3 hours. i really just want to stay home and cuddle with the boy.
tomorrow he's being a sweetie and is driving to altoona with me for the viewing. wednesday is the funeral, and then i'm off to harrisburg for a few days.
this may seem awful to say about a dead person, but... i have no idea why this is affecting me so much. my grandfather was an awful selfish person that abused my mom.
i think maybe it hurts me because i know that in my lifetime there is never any chance of me having a loving typical grandpa/granddaughter relationship. also, with this death, i have absolutely no grandparents alive.
i really wish there had been some love there. i'm not going to con myself and think that he loved me either.
we barely ever spoke, and that sucks.
atleast i can take solice in that fact that my parents are very loving, and so my kids will have a good grandparents experience.
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On a side note...you know you get bereavement time at Starbucks for deaths in the family right? If not, you might want to check into that one.
My paternal grandmother died last October. It was strange because it was almost like a stranger dying. I rarely saw her, never really thought about her, and had absolutely no emotions invested in her. Completely different from your own situation, but it reminded me of it.