'bout time for one of these, isn't it?
I'm still where i was when i got home. I'm still trying to figure out what i'm about. who i am and all that happy jazz. This summer has been a small change. I'm not as reclusive any more. I'm actually getting out and trying to be social. As should be expected i'm hitting some bumps along the way. Unfortunately holing up for four years i've developed this horrible knack of speaking my mind... maybe that's because i'm used to talking to myself. And nothing serves you better when your talking to yourself than to be blunt and honest. I've offended many a persons sensibilities, trampled on people's ideas of right and wrong in conversation, all because I'm not used to having to hold back for the sake of what they think is correct in conversation. I guess what i really need to do is stop treating people as i expect to be treated:
which is to be blunt, to the point, and completely honest with me, and that anything is worthy of discussion and nothing is forbidden. ( i do it to you, so do it to me)
I'm going to have to restrict my self to the "game" of social structure. Where when i meet new people i need to feel them out and be softly spoken, only address subjects that they bring up. etc.... and god does that feel like i'm betraying myself, not speaking what i think and feel so as to appease others... ugh.
By the way, for those of you who allow me to be myself, thank you. especially at those times when i speak my mind, and what i say doesn't fit within your paradigm like it does in mine, or may be slightly offensive, and you just roll with it, rather than enforcing your views on me. (one caveat, there's a difference here, there are subjects that are strongly associated with emotions due to personal experiences, I respect those... you just have to let me know, 'cause i'm not exactly psychic)
I'm going to throw one last disclaimer here: I'm not the most articulate son of a bitch. Take what you read here with a grain of salt. There's a meaning behind it close to the actual words. but this IS me i'm talking about, I sometimes have to reiterate my statements a couple times for the most sensible message to be sent... I like what I've said here so far, at least until someone mistakes me, then i may have to revise....
I'm still where i was when i got home. I'm still trying to figure out what i'm about. who i am and all that happy jazz. This summer has been a small change. I'm not as reclusive any more. I'm actually getting out and trying to be social. As should be expected i'm hitting some bumps along the way. Unfortunately holing up for four years i've developed this horrible knack of speaking my mind... maybe that's because i'm used to talking to myself. And nothing serves you better when your talking to yourself than to be blunt and honest. I've offended many a persons sensibilities, trampled on people's ideas of right and wrong in conversation, all because I'm not used to having to hold back for the sake of what they think is correct in conversation. I guess what i really need to do is stop treating people as i expect to be treated:
which is to be blunt, to the point, and completely honest with me, and that anything is worthy of discussion and nothing is forbidden. ( i do it to you, so do it to me)
I'm going to have to restrict my self to the "game" of social structure. Where when i meet new people i need to feel them out and be softly spoken, only address subjects that they bring up. etc.... and god does that feel like i'm betraying myself, not speaking what i think and feel so as to appease others... ugh.
By the way, for those of you who allow me to be myself, thank you. especially at those times when i speak my mind, and what i say doesn't fit within your paradigm like it does in mine, or may be slightly offensive, and you just roll with it, rather than enforcing your views on me. (one caveat, there's a difference here, there are subjects that are strongly associated with emotions due to personal experiences, I respect those... you just have to let me know, 'cause i'm not exactly psychic)
I'm going to throw one last disclaimer here: I'm not the most articulate son of a bitch. Take what you read here with a grain of salt. There's a meaning behind it close to the actual words. but this IS me i'm talking about, I sometimes have to reiterate my statements a couple times for the most sensible message to be sent... I like what I've said here so far, at least until someone mistakes me, then i may have to revise....
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
questionablysane:
last weekend was good. relaxed mostly
innerview:
I totaly agree whit you. There is not much ppl out there who will speak there mind whitout fearing that there answer can be socialy innaceptable. Most of the ppl will just smile but watch out when you got your back turn...