I envy not in any moods
The captive void of noble rage,
The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods;
In envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter'd by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;
Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth:
Nor any want-begotten rest.
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'T is better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
Leaving a job you have worked for 17 years does not seem in words as much as it is in emotion or thought. It is hard, yet the gypsy soul within tears up with joy to once again taste life again. I cannot say how I became the person who clung to the very thing I disdained in youth. A false security that drowned a dream or two, but gave just enough to keep many others. I have said that the seven cardinal sins never gave respect to a sin I have always felt was worse, Complacency. Good is the death of Great. Even in writing these words I feel small in the presence of such a subtle monstrosity. Never again.
I am not fond of words that promise things eternal. In the belief that life is ever changing and grows, words like forever and never seem like lies that deal small deaths. Yes I know in this commitment, a vow to life ..Never again.
I started reading Aldous Huxley again and for the few that read this words I can only suggest you do the same. The gift given in the works such as "Doors of Perception" is honest in it's title. Your views are challenged and life changing questions stir from such wonderful works. For me this is one of the magics of literature and the written word.
I am ever hopeful in my increased journalizing and writing, because lately each day seems less like my days are cookie cut. Inspired I dare say.