Yesterday was too real, too close to home, surreal and oddly beautiful. A good friend was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I went with him to his first consult with an oncologist. As I waited with him in a small, dirty and poorly lit roomI wondered his thoughts. Was he frightened and terrifiedor did he come to grips with it all? His eyes looked relaxed, yet fearful.
The door opened and two white coats entered. One sat by the computer, while the other stood by the door. They spoke of tumor size, metastatic disease, consent forms, his weight loss, his history of smoking, his step-son, his heart, his pericardial sac, chest tubes, physical activity, options, palliative treatments, chemotherapy, trial studies and new bio-agents. Questions were asked and answers were given, a new trial study was agreed upon and consent forms were handed out.
It was like driving by a horrific car accident on the highwaysirens screaming, lights stobing, and traffic is completely stopped.you are caught in the tragedy. What you are seeingis it real?
I drove home with my eyes wellingthinking about him. How does one cope, cope with the idea and likelihood of one year to live. Within that expected one year of life.living with the possibility of tiredness, stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, sob, fever, pain, mouth sores, decreased appetite, constipation, muscle pain, kidney and liver failure, seizures, nerve damage, ulcers, bleeding from rectum, coma and death.
All at the age of 46.
The door opened and two white coats entered. One sat by the computer, while the other stood by the door. They spoke of tumor size, metastatic disease, consent forms, his weight loss, his history of smoking, his step-son, his heart, his pericardial sac, chest tubes, physical activity, options, palliative treatments, chemotherapy, trial studies and new bio-agents. Questions were asked and answers were given, a new trial study was agreed upon and consent forms were handed out.
It was like driving by a horrific car accident on the highwaysirens screaming, lights stobing, and traffic is completely stopped.you are caught in the tragedy. What you are seeingis it real?
I drove home with my eyes wellingthinking about him. How does one cope, cope with the idea and likelihood of one year to live. Within that expected one year of life.living with the possibility of tiredness, stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, sob, fever, pain, mouth sores, decreased appetite, constipation, muscle pain, kidney and liver failure, seizures, nerve damage, ulcers, bleeding from rectum, coma and death.
All at the age of 46.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kittypiefacehead:
When?
qhale001:
lets take our ideas to natalie soon...this upcoming week