q

I'm not one for deities or collective unconciousness, but the droves of symbols should have been recognized.

Something in me knew. Almost like it had been preparing me for months for that moment. And when it came i was calm, i was collected.

But still, what the fuck?

What kind of person breaks up with you after two and a half years on Valentines day?

But i sat there. And i was calm. I had slightly suspected that in these past few months, a different person had inhabited my skin. A creature of reason and logic. No emotion, not anger or fear, not love or excitement. Everything was getting finished, everything was always in control. No attachments, solitary and at peace.

Like Idit said, it must have been a sixth sense. Something was preparing me for that moment. So i could do what needed to be done. The old me would have begged, would have pleaded. I would given infinite forgiveness, i would have made things work no matter what.

Instead i listened. I asked questions. And when it was finished i asked the question, 'Is there anything i can do, say, or change to change your mind'. The answer was no. The next thing i said was, 'Get the fuck out of my house, you fucking coward'.

I finally did what i haven't ever been able to do. I didn't bend or break. I threw him out. I took a stand. I had enough.

I'm sure all the memories will hit me eventually. Reminding me of what i have lost.

People who know me know how we were together. Something that always seemed to work, something that might last. What a fucking joke.

But i should have known.

The symbols were too strong and i was too distracted.

The most prominent happening right before he did it. I obtained real hearts to give to Matthew and Meli for Valentines day. I was thawing them in the sink, and when i came back to check on them, they were covered in flies. I held them in my hands, and in that second, a colossal wind rushed by and shook the whole house.

'Too loose to tie down' she said.

I always knew it.