FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
I am so pissed off and discouraged right now. This morning I was so trilled because I weighted 196.8. My recruiter's superior from the Air Force told me that if I got 196 that he would sent me on to MEPS. I went and talked to them today and they told me a totally different story.
The oldest that you can be to enter into the Air force is 26 and I turn 27 at the beginning of august. I do not see a way that I can get off 4.3% body fat when I have only been able to get off around 4% in the last four months.
Fuck I mean I have been a lazy extremely fat, I am talking close to 400 lbs at the worst, since before kindergarten. My body does not know how to react to this situation. I have so much loose skin that I could probably glide on it like a flying squirrel. Just like the comic book when the blob lost his mutant ability and was found crying, saying "I can't get it to cut." Fucking wrapped in a big blanket of your own skin stopped my weight loss for a long time. Because when I look in the mirror with my shirt off all I see is the 360 pound man I was. because I still have all of the skin that he had.
And like most fat people I turn to food for comfort, though it never helps because it is never enough. since I got home I have ate almost a whole bag of jalapeno pieces with a jalapeno cheese dipping sauce, two wild cherry Pepsis, three root beers, a cup of peanut butter fudge pieces, and half a dish of pecan snorkels.
I do not know if I should go and talk to different branches of the military or not. Because I believe the air force would do me the most good, but at this point anything is better than nothing. I just wish something would work out for me.
It is just hard being a weak introverted person, that can not every talk around people that I am close to. I make accuses like that I am just a good listener. But what is the use of hearing someone if you can not reply back to them?
I need to be broken down and remade!
I am so pissed off and discouraged right now. This morning I was so trilled because I weighted 196.8. My recruiter's superior from the Air Force told me that if I got 196 that he would sent me on to MEPS. I went and talked to them today and they told me a totally different story.
The oldest that you can be to enter into the Air force is 26 and I turn 27 at the beginning of august. I do not see a way that I can get off 4.3% body fat when I have only been able to get off around 4% in the last four months.
Fuck I mean I have been a lazy extremely fat, I am talking close to 400 lbs at the worst, since before kindergarten. My body does not know how to react to this situation. I have so much loose skin that I could probably glide on it like a flying squirrel. Just like the comic book when the blob lost his mutant ability and was found crying, saying "I can't get it to cut." Fucking wrapped in a big blanket of your own skin stopped my weight loss for a long time. Because when I look in the mirror with my shirt off all I see is the 360 pound man I was. because I still have all of the skin that he had.
And like most fat people I turn to food for comfort, though it never helps because it is never enough. since I got home I have ate almost a whole bag of jalapeno pieces with a jalapeno cheese dipping sauce, two wild cherry Pepsis, three root beers, a cup of peanut butter fudge pieces, and half a dish of pecan snorkels.
I do not know if I should go and talk to different branches of the military or not. Because I believe the air force would do me the most good, but at this point anything is better than nothing. I just wish something would work out for me.
It is just hard being a weak introverted person, that can not every talk around people that I am close to. I make accuses like that I am just a good listener. But what is the use of hearing someone if you can not reply back to them?
I need to be broken down and remade!
♥