On Wednesday I met with Dr. Barnatan - the wunder dok behind my still attached left arm. A month or so ago he installed a new dialysis access in my left leg. The meeting was a simple post-op checkup to make sure things were looking good. They were. The meeting ended with him saying he never wanted to see me in his office again. I assured him the feeling was mutual.
Saturday I went to dialysis, and a funny thing happened. The access in my arm stopped working. Ok, so this time I meant "funny" in the not-at-all funny type of way. Fortunately, we (meaning me, the tech at dialysis who suggested the new access, and Dr. Barnatan who installed the new access) thought ahead, and I had an access ready to go that very day. Otherwise Saturday when have been much, much more frightening.
Instead of surgery, though, we just moved all the needles and tubes and gauze to the left side of the chair from the right side. Simple, and mostly undramatic. I say mostly because as I rolled up the leg of my pajamas to reveal my juicy, pasty white thigh, one of the last things the good Doctor said to me came to mind:
"We're going to use that right arm as long as possible. Because, you know, the minute we start using the leg, the sooner it wears out..."
...and the sooner it wears out, the sooner the hunt has to begin to find a new access. If we can find one. If this isn't the last usable vein we can find to make into an access. I remember thinking at the time, "Whew, thank god my arm still works so I don't have to think about that anytime soon."
Yeah, well, I started thinking about it. As the tech is numbing up my leg I'm already wondering how long the leg will last. The arm was supposed to last for years. Plastic shunts like the one in my leg are supposed to be less reliable than grafts, so how much will I get out of this? How many more shunts, grafts, and catheters does this body have left in it?
Thoughts like these will keep a person up at night. Well, they will unless they have kind nurses who will shoot them up with IV Benadryl. Then that person will sleep through dialysis, come home, and sleep for another 16 hours. Thank god for kind nurses.
But there are other nights to stay up. Long nights like these.
Saturday I went to dialysis, and a funny thing happened. The access in my arm stopped working. Ok, so this time I meant "funny" in the not-at-all funny type of way. Fortunately, we (meaning me, the tech at dialysis who suggested the new access, and Dr. Barnatan who installed the new access) thought ahead, and I had an access ready to go that very day. Otherwise Saturday when have been much, much more frightening.
Instead of surgery, though, we just moved all the needles and tubes and gauze to the left side of the chair from the right side. Simple, and mostly undramatic. I say mostly because as I rolled up the leg of my pajamas to reveal my juicy, pasty white thigh, one of the last things the good Doctor said to me came to mind:
"We're going to use that right arm as long as possible. Because, you know, the minute we start using the leg, the sooner it wears out..."
...and the sooner it wears out, the sooner the hunt has to begin to find a new access. If we can find one. If this isn't the last usable vein we can find to make into an access. I remember thinking at the time, "Whew, thank god my arm still works so I don't have to think about that anytime soon."
Yeah, well, I started thinking about it. As the tech is numbing up my leg I'm already wondering how long the leg will last. The arm was supposed to last for years. Plastic shunts like the one in my leg are supposed to be less reliable than grafts, so how much will I get out of this? How many more shunts, grafts, and catheters does this body have left in it?
Thoughts like these will keep a person up at night. Well, they will unless they have kind nurses who will shoot them up with IV Benadryl. Then that person will sleep through dialysis, come home, and sleep for another 16 hours. Thank god for kind nurses.
But there are other nights to stay up. Long nights like these.
d_day:
Is it just me, or does it seem like every time something goes right for you, something almost immediately goes wrong?