pwndcake

What people don't seem to realize is that life is not a permanent state. All forms of life are temporary. A blip on the sonar of time. It's only through constant and persistent efforts to stave off death for one more minute, one more hour, one more year, that allows that blip to keep sending out a signal. Every victory against death is only a...
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Well today was fun. No really, I'm not being sarcastic. I had a fun day.

It didn't start out great. I only got 3 hours of sleep (10am -1pm) before my CT scan over at Emanuel hospital. Afterwards, though, I got to drive around SE Portland for 4 hours. After months of talking about it, Raseny and I finally made it over to Otto's Sausage...
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It's been a long day. All of it memorable in various ways so this may end up being a long post.

This day began at 10pm last night when I woke up after a brief nap. Dialysis was rough on me. When I say rough I mean painful. I don't know why, but when they use the new access (the cadaver vein graft in my...
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Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away.

Corny perhaps, but fitting. Today I decided fitting was more important than original.

So it's cloudy and chilly for the first time for weeks. A 60 degree day dropped in the middle of an 80 degree month...
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It's been a long day. It began at 12:50am Friday morning when I woke up after falling asleep when I got home at dialysis. Now it's 12:54am Saturday morning when I'm getting home and trying to fall asleep. Over the course of 24 hours I've:

- Saved a universe and become a god... again

- gained 7 levels in Age of Conan

- found a...
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"Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone."


After all this time I am still incredibly bad at dealing with stress. You might think by now I would have a handle on it, but I still easily reach a point at which I shut down. I stop responding. I just want it all to go away. I'm there... again. How many...
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It was just another Wednesday. I fell asleep around 4am. When 12:30 rolled around I was still asleep, and comfortably so. Dreaming of people I hadn't seen since high school in a house I hadn't seen in 5 years. Dreams of the past, and things I will miss. Then the phone rings.

It's Ellen. She's been down in Southern California since Monday. Today she had...
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Every hospital stay comes with a story, and this one is a doozie. The events of the last 36 hours are, in my opinion, appalling. Rarely have I ever been this mad at a doctor. The last time was at OHSU, and the perma-cath incident. In fact the two of them have some things in common, in that I was subjected to an unnecessary surgery...
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Today is close to coming to an end. 6pm and I'm exhausted. That probably has something to do with trying to chase a very old dog that tried to hobble out the front door and down the stairs. In his youth, his escape could mean hours of pursuit. He was a fast dog, and fiercely independant. Now, well he's still independent and headstrong (for a...
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Sometimes it's good to remember where you came from.

This is a bad year. It started bad, and it's getting worse. Well, maybe not for me. It's hard to get "worse" than where I was in January, but there are parts of my life that while stable in January, are falling apart now.


Both the vascular surgeon and my nephrologist have made it clear that pharmaceutical narcotics are mine for the asking. And not...
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I don't know how to embed this video in SG, but it's a great story. It's the kind of thing I thought of doing a couple of years ago.

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=8132827