what to say what to say......... goddamn this throat of mine....... 4 cigs. 4. and i am sick..... fucking throat hurting and glands swollen, it's just a lovely way to start the day. pray to the gods for my throat before i rip it out..... it will end no other way.

1. Call out of work. Make the excuse much worse than just a sore throat. Say you have the Ebola virus and your innards are slowly being liquefied. Everyone will be much more impressed with your recovery that way.
2. Don't quit smoking unless you replace it with a filthier more satisfying habit. Shooting black tar heroin or stomping puppies to death would be adequate.
3. And most importantly: Your sore throat feels lonely. Make the rest of your body and attire match it. Dress up as your favorite Mafia don or raspy voiced bag lady and start chatting up strangers. Match your red sore throat with an equally red sore mouth and ass by consuming some hot Indian food. Let your throat know that it is not alone, that you love it .