hey world,
today went pretty well. i got up at a reasonable hour this morning and chilled with hunter and ian for a few hours. then i went downtown to this gay/lesbian/bi/trans place... it was like, a club/center/meeting place type thing. So yeah, picked up some free event flyers and resource info and met a few gay guys, lol. guess i'm gonna go to this lesbian women's support group. should be interesting... i need it though. i'm so confused about who i am. i know i'm bi, behaviorally, but mentally and emotionally i think i'm gay. i mean, i can't help it. it just sorta happened this way, i guess. not really, i remember having fantasies about getting married to a girl when i was young. so yeah, yet another confusing side of me i'm working on.
anyway, after that i got my mom a mother's day card, picked up my refill of my ortha evra patch birth control and then bought the book "Cunt" by Inga Muscio. it's a lesbian feminist's ranting manifesto which i've read countless times before and wanted my own copy of. i highly recommend it...
as for my relationship status... i don't know where things are going with hunter and i. i just don't even feel the physical attraction anymore... and i know he's fucking HOTT! like, the hottest guy i've ever had, yet somehow i don't feel satisfied. it sucks. we've been dating for a year and a half. i keep doing things to try to rekindle it all but it's not working and i feel frustrated and flustered these days. still, i'm hanging in there because i'm hoping that i might still be "normal" and that things will work themselves out.
evening has gone by slowly and it's pretty late now, for me anyway because i have class in the morning. oh well. leave me comments.
xoxo,
--natalie
today went pretty well. i got up at a reasonable hour this morning and chilled with hunter and ian for a few hours. then i went downtown to this gay/lesbian/bi/trans place... it was like, a club/center/meeting place type thing. So yeah, picked up some free event flyers and resource info and met a few gay guys, lol. guess i'm gonna go to this lesbian women's support group. should be interesting... i need it though. i'm so confused about who i am. i know i'm bi, behaviorally, but mentally and emotionally i think i'm gay. i mean, i can't help it. it just sorta happened this way, i guess. not really, i remember having fantasies about getting married to a girl when i was young. so yeah, yet another confusing side of me i'm working on.
anyway, after that i got my mom a mother's day card, picked up my refill of my ortha evra patch birth control and then bought the book "Cunt" by Inga Muscio. it's a lesbian feminist's ranting manifesto which i've read countless times before and wanted my own copy of. i highly recommend it...
as for my relationship status... i don't know where things are going with hunter and i. i just don't even feel the physical attraction anymore... and i know he's fucking HOTT! like, the hottest guy i've ever had, yet somehow i don't feel satisfied. it sucks. we've been dating for a year and a half. i keep doing things to try to rekindle it all but it's not working and i feel frustrated and flustered these days. still, i'm hanging in there because i'm hoping that i might still be "normal" and that things will work themselves out.
evening has gone by slowly and it's pretty late now, for me anyway because i have class in the morning. oh well. leave me comments.
xoxo,
--natalie
Have you, honestly, sat down w/Hunter and talked things over? It really sounds like that's what you need to do instead of suffering by yourself. Just think about it.
Hope you are well.
-TM