This past holiday weekend was....wierd. I went to my boy's grandparents house on Saturday. I was annoyed within 5 minutes of being there. Everyone made jokes about a wedding date. I gave the standard "nice to see you again" to grandma who is not nearly old and crabby enough to retort with "Well, you don't act like it"...Her husband saw me talking on my cell phone later in the day (I was talking to one of my good friends who I haven't seen for a while) and he gets all in my face saying I better not be talking to some man on the phone. I literally told him he wasn't my daddy and doesn't pay my bills and to mind his business. Thankfully he didn't say another word to me or ask me about grandkids or weddings or whatever for the rest of the day. They were riverdancing on my last nerve.
After that I went home. I actually tried to sleep in my own bed without him. Not good. I had a vision ( I will NOT call it a nightmare because I was NOT sleep!!!) of three people walking into my room. The first guy (the only one who got close enough for me to see his face in the dark) looked strangely familiar but I couldn't remember who he was. I was all freaked out in the bed but I couldn't scream or speak or anything. (the same thing happened a few months back when my dead cousin was standing at my doorway...she wasn't all rigor mortis-ed up or anything looking gross. she looked normal). So anyway, the guy has a barbell-y earring in his left ear with yellow, green, and blue designs on it. He had on a black hoodie and a black baseball cap turned backwards. He had a hairy forearm. I know this because when he got close, I touched him. He told me to wake up and called me by name. I asked him to stop playing. (apparently I could talk to him, not scream for my daddy like the wuss that I wanted to be). He just kept telling me to wake up. I blinked, they were gone and I was choking trying to call my dog or something. I turned on every light in sight and played with Photoshop until the sun came up. I am still creeped out. But now I know who it was.
I just want to know what he meant.
My mom says that he was depressed when he died and that maybe him telling me to wake up is some sort of sign for me to work harder to fight my tidal waves of depression. Conoconuts thinks that the three people represented the past, present, and the future and maybe the Future was telling me to wake up. I have been depressed and very distant to many people who i was forming meaningful frienships with. Sometimes it is easier not to share my negative feelings. Who wants to always talk to the sad girl?
blah...
/subject change
My mom forced me to go to a church picnic yesterday morning. It sucked. I will post bored pictures of me soon. I seriously stuck out...it didn't help that my keychains are two mini-whips and I wear my keys through my belt loop (otherwise my nerdy ass loses them). yes, I got lots of yummy glares. Woo Hoo. Food sucked (except the little piece of fried fish i got!)
So last night the boy's aunt has a Crab Boil. This is the shit. There is a HUGE, HUGE pot with crabs, shrimp, potoatoes, corn ears, sausage, and spices that they boil to cook. Then they toss it all on the table and you just go to town crackin crabs, peelin shrimp, and doin da damn ting! THAT was the highlight. I had my little cousin with me and she schooled all the little boys in basketball. That's my dawg. She is in 5th grade right now and she is running the 800m tonight at the highschool against all the other kids in the county because she is the fastest in her whole school! There IS some happiness
Still have no job. No one will hire me. Sux, but i am now considering this the summer vacation that I never had. My bank just granted me a 3 month extension on my loan so i dont' have to make a payment until august. My insurance in another story, but it's only $96. Okay, I am giving way too much random needless info, right?
Okay, I stop now.
After that I went home. I actually tried to sleep in my own bed without him. Not good. I had a vision ( I will NOT call it a nightmare because I was NOT sleep!!!) of three people walking into my room. The first guy (the only one who got close enough for me to see his face in the dark) looked strangely familiar but I couldn't remember who he was. I was all freaked out in the bed but I couldn't scream or speak or anything. (the same thing happened a few months back when my dead cousin was standing at my doorway...she wasn't all rigor mortis-ed up or anything looking gross. she looked normal). So anyway, the guy has a barbell-y earring in his left ear with yellow, green, and blue designs on it. He had on a black hoodie and a black baseball cap turned backwards. He had a hairy forearm. I know this because when he got close, I touched him. He told me to wake up and called me by name. I asked him to stop playing. (apparently I could talk to him, not scream for my daddy like the wuss that I wanted to be). He just kept telling me to wake up. I blinked, they were gone and I was choking trying to call my dog or something. I turned on every light in sight and played with Photoshop until the sun came up. I am still creeped out. But now I know who it was.
I just want to know what he meant.
My mom says that he was depressed when he died and that maybe him telling me to wake up is some sort of sign for me to work harder to fight my tidal waves of depression. Conoconuts thinks that the three people represented the past, present, and the future and maybe the Future was telling me to wake up. I have been depressed and very distant to many people who i was forming meaningful frienships with. Sometimes it is easier not to share my negative feelings. Who wants to always talk to the sad girl?
blah...
/subject change
My mom forced me to go to a church picnic yesterday morning. It sucked. I will post bored pictures of me soon. I seriously stuck out...it didn't help that my keychains are two mini-whips and I wear my keys through my belt loop (otherwise my nerdy ass loses them). yes, I got lots of yummy glares. Woo Hoo. Food sucked (except the little piece of fried fish i got!)
So last night the boy's aunt has a Crab Boil. This is the shit. There is a HUGE, HUGE pot with crabs, shrimp, potoatoes, corn ears, sausage, and spices that they boil to cook. Then they toss it all on the table and you just go to town crackin crabs, peelin shrimp, and doin da damn ting! THAT was the highlight. I had my little cousin with me and she schooled all the little boys in basketball. That's my dawg. She is in 5th grade right now and she is running the 800m tonight at the highschool against all the other kids in the county because she is the fastest in her whole school! There IS some happiness
Still have no job. No one will hire me. Sux, but i am now considering this the summer vacation that I never had. My bank just granted me a 3 month extension on my loan so i dont' have to make a payment until august. My insurance in another story, but it's only $96. Okay, I am giving way too much random needless info, right?
Okay, I stop now.
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I like the new profile pic!
Was hoping to finally meet you