punksauce

hold on to your pants! cuz its update time!

as some of you already know, i'm up to my eyeballs in debt. every time i turn around there is another 300 bucks that needs to get paid THAT DAY! i cant stand it. and to think, i used to have a good 2 g's in my bank account at all times until i started dating doug. is this just another " sign" that fate just does not want us together?

i tried to talk to him last night about the way he has been acting and such...it did not turn out so good. he pretty much listened to what i said until i became emotional, then made everything that I had said, his own. all in all it was a waist of my breath. i wish i had no feelings at all sometimes. then i would have the balls to pack up my shit and leave. but everytime i begin to think about leaving, i become sad because i know that he does not understand where i am coming from and thats why he does the things that he does. i know i'm not the easiest person to date. hell, i don't even understand why i have the great friends that i do! i must be the top ten biggest ass hole when it comes to personal problems and stress. my frickin italian makes me a fighter...damn do i get a temper sometimes!
but then again, i would not have a temper if there was someone that actually understood me and my reactions. i have a temper when things really upset me or they just don't make sense and i can't get the truth no matter what.

i'm not posting this so i will get any kind of advice of how i should dump the turd and date the prince. i already know that. i honestly do not want any advice from anyone. comment if you will.

(p.s. i just woke up and my writing is a tad bit off....so i am sorry for the pile of shit that i am about to post)