punkinfanta

errr. i'm suppose to be really happy right now...and i am...but i'm also scared and nervous. and there is a hint of underlying doubt.

yesterday was my last day @ my current job location. i had not even 24hrs notice. the store i have always wanted to be manager of, is in need. i start tomorrow as ACTING STORE MANAGER and this week i interview for the position with my district manager and then my regional manager *yikes* this is my time to shine, prove i can run the store. and hopefully, get it. wow. i knew it was coming, but not this fast. i'm really excited and i can't stop thinking about it.

so i am potentially on this happiness track, and it's wonderful. but then i thought, fuck, if i'm happy, how am i suppose to finish writing my piece? it's so depressing and dark and desperate. happiness seldom makes for good artistic judgements no?

then i think, i've been unhappy for so long, wallowing in this brandon enduced sadness (plus other things) for so long...do i know how to be happy? do i WANT to be happy?

ugh...too much thinking...

i hope i rock my interview. everyone is super excited for me. i have worked SO hard for this. having my own store?!?!



now i just need a home, a car, and a loving boy to spend it all with.



*edit*

arghhh sorry. i'm frustrated and lonely. i want someone to hold me and rub my head and give me little soft kisses...

oh, i get it...

i want someone to CARE for me.

hrm...

!%$%^&**