what if one day you realized you had become everything you didnt want to be? that you had sold out, that you were boring, that you were no longer what you had been, or worse - what you aspired to be? what do you do when you look in the mirror and see a monster grinning back at you? what do you do when you realize you no longer feel pain, and you relish in the misfortune of others? what do you do then?
what do you do when your life has become an empty sillhouette of your true profile? an inner self so out of focus and suppressed it may be lost forever?
i've been experiencing what i can only describe as your proverbial night of darkness and despair, only just as it is metaphor, its not just a single night.
i am frustrated with life and the energy of the universe at the moment. no, not frustrated...exasperated is more like it. i wait for the tides of change.
the only upside is springtime is coming, and i love my dear sweet little cookie monster. (if you eat 6 subway white chip macadamia nut cookies every day that makes you a cookie monster, right?)
what do you do when your life has become an empty sillhouette of your true profile? an inner self so out of focus and suppressed it may be lost forever?
i've been experiencing what i can only describe as your proverbial night of darkness and despair, only just as it is metaphor, its not just a single night.
i am frustrated with life and the energy of the universe at the moment. no, not frustrated...exasperated is more like it. i wait for the tides of change.
the only upside is springtime is coming, and i love my dear sweet little cookie monster. (if you eat 6 subway white chip macadamia nut cookies every day that makes you a cookie monster, right?)
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hell, i feel the same way. i've been feeling the same way for years. and i have been waiting. until one day i realized i had to make the change myself. or itherwisw i'd be waiting forever. so i'm trying. real hard. to go forward.
small steps. but at least i'm moving.
more later. after coffee.
much love.
-Hyena.
When I feel like that, I pack up and leave, start over. I am not saying it is actually a good thing. And it may not be feasible for you. But it is what I do. Only advice I have.
I used to relish in the misfortune of others and I think it was in fact because I had stopped feeling pain. I thought I was emotionally invincible. When I found out I was wrong I started to realize how many people I had hurt and I stopped. Tough way to grow, though.