pumpkineater

some thoughts...

today i saw a cute young girl dressed in a green pea coat and hot pink pants run after her father as he pretended to be an airplane circling her. he even made the "airplane sound" and had his arms extended like wings as her hello kitty back pack bounced around on his back. she shrieked and giggled as she chased him, ready to fall over with each wobbly step. both were oblivious to everybody else, dodging the skaters and pedestrians and it was clear that nothing mattered in the world except the two of them to each other. i watched this for a couple minutes and it put a small smile on my face, and as i looked around, i saw about 10 other people watching them with the same stupid look on their faces. it was beautiful and made me wish i had a little cute daughter of my own. is that what that warm feeling deep inside is?

in stark contrast to that, about 2 minutes later, i was still lingering being happy about the father and his little daughter when i saw a very angry black woman hollering her lungs out at a bus stop post. what she was so angry about was anybody's guess as she was ranting and raving without actually making any intelligible words...at least none i could make out. spittle actually flew from her mouth and foam dribbled down her chin. she would snarl and try to pick a fight with nearly every street walker too. all she wore was a pair of pajama shorts and a dirty tank top that was sweat soaked, and a comb pick dangling precariously in her unkept hair. i got up and kind of followed her down the block as she kept stopping to yell at cars and at other inanimate objects. i was just seeing if anything crazy was going to happen with her. it was such a startling sharp contrast to the serene and happy moment just before.

there is a very disturbing trend concerning the nypd and shootings. for further detail, check out the latest citystate in the village voice.

there are very few things i do better than anybody else in the world, and its almost painful to watch other people make attempts at the things i do well. does this make me an elitist snob? cocky/arrogant? immature? stupid? or am i just very confident and sure of myself?

lil kim aka kimberly jones is getting shit on and its not cool. fuck junior mafia - y'all have what your giving out coming right back atcha. better check your rear view mirror, kid. family never rats on each other.

i had a dream about...of all people, paris hilton. no, not THAT kind of dream, but we were best friends and drove around in a rental van where i was the driver. all she wanted to do was shop and talk on that stupid cell phone/text messenger. i got into a car wreck when her dog peed on my foot and some older woman (who in the dream played her mother) got in the car and started driving like a nut job through the streets of london. we ended up in front of the plaza hotel at which point we got on a private airplane where her sister nicky hilton and lenny kravitz were also passengers. the really weird thing was, in my dream, i really believed she and i were best friends. how unbelievably embarassing. maybe i'll edit this part out later.

i may be torn in 2008 if condoleeza rice runs for the presidency.

its not beauty, b/c there are attractive people.
its not intelligence, b/c there are geniuses.
its not kindness, b/c there are compassionate people.
its not humor, b/c there are comedians.
its just that she is the most beautiful, the smartest, the kindest, the funniest, the sweetest, the loveliest of them all, all rolled up into one person. i am so lucky.