I'm going to dedicate this blog to one of the GREATEST man to ever put on a pair of cowboy boots.Drum roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllllllllll please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That man is Chuck Norris, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For those ppl who don't know the man, the legend and the myth i'll include a few facts about the man also known as DA MAN!!!!!!!!!!
1. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
2. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
3. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
4. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
5. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
6. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
7. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
8. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
9. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
10. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
11. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
12. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
13. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
14. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
15. Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
16. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
17. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
18. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
19. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
and
20. Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
The purpose of this blog is to inform and inspire the SG community all over the world with pure awesomeness!!!
That man is Chuck Norris, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For those ppl who don't know the man, the legend and the myth i'll include a few facts about the man also known as DA MAN!!!!!!!!!!
1. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
2. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
3. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
4. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
5. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
6. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
7. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
8. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
9. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
10. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
11. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
12. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
13. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
14. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
15. Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
16. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
17. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
18. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
19. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
and
20. Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
The purpose of this blog is to inform and inspire the SG community all over the world with pure awesomeness!!!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
pelin:
Love your list!!!
riese:
Anyone who loves Chuck Norris is a friend of mine!