pudding

sometimes i feel trapped for no good reason. it's not like i can't go out and do whatever the hell i please, but still i confine myself to the house not knowing what i'd do if i did go out. and i've gotten a lot of reading done in the last couple days. got a good amount of writing done too. new movies from netflix came in the mail yesterday but i can't sit still long enough to watch them. which is too bad because that copy of american psycho keeps staring at me from the end table. did a little bit of cleaning, we were almost out of cups. put in two job applications yesterday. i have to do something besides sit on my ass until my test. both places i put in applications they seemed to like me and appeared satisfied with my prior experience as a cashier. i was really trying to avoid waiting tables, i don't think i have the patience for it. i hesitate to apply at larger chain stores because they would most likely take out my facial piercings and well, i just can't have that. i'll wait until monday to hear from the two places i applied and then continue the search. i saw a couple ads for factory work that looked good until i read that i would be required to lift between fifty and seventy pounds on a regular basis. eeek. my wimpy and flabby little arms can't handle all that. the deli cashier position i applied for sounds perfect because the schedule is from 6:30 am to 2pm so i would have the rest of my day to run errands and stuff. errr, i mean study my little heart out for the board, that's right. i am very much looking forward to the student beauty expo thing in burbank on the 22nd of this month, hopefully i will have a job and some money by then. crosses fingers and winks twice. i've been feeling sick lately (combo of med dosage change, headache, ect.), i don't drink enough water . joe says i'm most likely chronically dehydrated, which is probably true. i just don't think about it, sometimes i will go an entire day and then realize the only beverage i had all day was a cup of tea with breakfast. rolls eyes at self. my weight loss has stalled, or it may be that i am focusing on it more now because i'm not in school and have nothing else to do. thank god i don't have a scale in the house i would probably weigh myself all day, i judge my weight by the fit of my pants. by the way, this is for the ladies : never judge your weight loss by the fit of a pair of high-waisted trouser style jeans, they will always make you feel shitty. measure yourself by the fit of your favorite pair of jeans, it is a more accurate gauge. trouser jeans are meant for girls with narrow hips and even tinier waists, if this isn't you, you will probably have to go up a size or two to get the proper fit and if that bums you out as much as it does for me don't even bother. i'm trying to get down to a size seven by my state board date. i should probably get up and start the process of looking like a normal human being. pieces.