It feels like i've been wandering around in the dark groping my way through these past 3 years. The lights went out when i was kicked out of chi town. (I love how i refer to my retreating back to mommy and daddies womb with my tail between my legs as kicked out). And sundenly a flash of black lightning cackles and the lights come on. There I am face to face with a mirror looking at myself. I'm starting to see all those things everyone saw in me all those years. I'd hate to say it, but going to jail was honestly one of those experiances that changed me for the better...I think...I hope.
Unfortinatly this new renewed vigor i've found for life comes at a ispid price. Lost the best thing to ever fall into my lap. But from what i've gathered she seems to be doing well, and i hope her daughter is recovering. Oh well. I'm doing 40 hours of community service every week until I hit 100. I've got all these classes i gotta take but what ever. I really dig the community service gig. I do a soup kitchen in the morning, and than i go cross town to an office for salvation army and do secretary work for two big hearted social workers. Doing this really pulls at my heart strings and makes me thankful for all the blessing I have. I've also made arrangements to stick around after my hours are done cause helping people is a cheap high and makes me feel good. Proving once again that all chairity is selfish. If you think thats despicable, i say FUCK YOU...at least i'm honestly helping people.
And now a clarifaction of sorts. First my coming to jesus (despite his refusal to accept me as a sun beam!) I in no way acknowledge the power or piusness of the church. However I do accept the divenity of christ (on my own terms). Second sobrity...an ugly word. Once probations over i'm back on the wagon, minus the syringe methods, but i'll quit smoking ciggs, and hopefully keep with my new vice the KCC weight room.
In final news i beat my record. I can finally bench more than my own body weight 165lbs nigga what? thats 40lbs more than when I started. Hooty HOO!
Unfortinatly this new renewed vigor i've found for life comes at a ispid price. Lost the best thing to ever fall into my lap. But from what i've gathered she seems to be doing well, and i hope her daughter is recovering. Oh well. I'm doing 40 hours of community service every week until I hit 100. I've got all these classes i gotta take but what ever. I really dig the community service gig. I do a soup kitchen in the morning, and than i go cross town to an office for salvation army and do secretary work for two big hearted social workers. Doing this really pulls at my heart strings and makes me thankful for all the blessing I have. I've also made arrangements to stick around after my hours are done cause helping people is a cheap high and makes me feel good. Proving once again that all chairity is selfish. If you think thats despicable, i say FUCK YOU...at least i'm honestly helping people.
And now a clarifaction of sorts. First my coming to jesus (despite his refusal to accept me as a sun beam!) I in no way acknowledge the power or piusness of the church. However I do accept the divenity of christ (on my own terms). Second sobrity...an ugly word. Once probations over i'm back on the wagon, minus the syringe methods, but i'll quit smoking ciggs, and hopefully keep with my new vice the KCC weight room.
In final news i beat my record. I can finally bench more than my own body weight 165lbs nigga what? thats 40lbs more than when I started. Hooty HOO!