This post is probably going to come off as a bit dry. This is because I feel like I really need to document the last 2 years so I can come back at some point and laugh at myself for allowing it to happen. Ill deal with the emotional aspects of it in later posts.
Part 1
So much has gone on since I moved up here from Socal. I moved in with my friend Rich and his girlfriend and her son. The point of the move was to help him out with his transition to fatherhood(she was pregnant) and to give me a new enviorment to explore. Unfortunately his girlfriend was possessive,vindictive,and much cause of stress and fighting in the house.She never really welcomes me into the house and she treats me more like some guy sleeping for free on the couch then a person paying $900 a month for a shitty 12/12 room. It turned out to be a really depressing place to be.I spent months trying hard to find a job in a market that did not exist. I went from a $2200 a month job in Socal to a retail job.
Meanwhile my rent is so high that I cant buy food and at the same time I cant really move out because my friend and his family are struggling with the new baby and would probably lose the house. The girlfriend got me an insurance job which didnt work out for me. Turns out that I just cannot force people to buy insurance even if its for their own good. My nonsuccess at the insurance job enraged the girlfriend to Psychotic heights.
To say she to it way to personal would be an understatement. Things get worse in the household and my friendship with said friend is going down the tubes because he values sex above all else and she uses(aka denies him) it to control him. We slowly become strangers in the same household. At this point I have been there for a year. The girlfriend goes through one of the periods of civility where she realizes how ridicules she has been acting and things become ok for a while. My rent is reduced from $900 dollars to $750.00 however I am still paying an extra $300 in utilities for things Im not really using since Im working all the time just to pay rent. Unfortunately my friend is hitting financial rocks and Im still unable to move without them losing the house we are renting. They have a fucking kid to feed! I just cannot bring myself to leave and make my life better while possibly destroying theirs.
Flash forward 8 months and I am pretty much isolated to my room. The girlfriend has made it clear through voice and action that Im not really welcome in the rest of the house. Of course that changes when my friend comes home from work.Suddenly there is a forced smile on her lips as she passes me talking to him."Your always welcome to hangout with us" she says in a strained voice.Its obvious that they are not on the same page. Its sometimes hard to understand how the relationship works without any communication. I remember at one point my friend told me it was ok to move and I had almost finished the leasing paperwork when the girlfriend found out and went ballistic. Perhaps I should have checked with her but it really seemed like something you would discuss with your mate before hand.
My friend and I have fairly similar ways of dealing with the house life. He spends all of his time playing video games on his new $4000 computer that he really cant afford. He also gets into music.
Flash forward 3 months
One day I the girlfriend makes an offhand remark about me being a freeloader. I take this to mean that they are finally on thier feet and I can get the fuck out.
Her son seems to be the only one capable of direct communication. The role of messenger seems to be a comfortable one for him, perhaps because he does this for his own dad(not my friend) She will not tell me things directly and my friend is lost in his own world. One day, a week or so after I put in my 90 day notice(the girlfriend was adament about 90 days) he comes up to me and tells me that we are being evicted in one months time. WTF???!!!
Sure enough, its true. In light of rising rent and me moving, they have decided(without telling me) to stop paying rent. Now I have scramble to find a place to live. Which I do in record time. I get my stuff out on the friday before eviction week and my friend decides to move his family back to SoCal. I move closer to SF and my job. On that Saturday I came beck to clean my room and bathroom.
"A ridiculous end to a friendship"
I spent 3 hours cleaning that fucking bathroom and I scrubbed every inch of it clean. You could have eaten out of the toliet. I wiped the last of the cleaner from the bowl with what was left of the toliet paper. Naturally it stuffed up the toilet. This toliet stuffed up almost every time it was used. Since it was just paper and the plunger was nowhere to be found I figured it would just break down on its own and flush away. So I closed the door and let everyone know not to use the bathroom. The next 2 days were hellish I had to work and every moment spent not working was spent helping them get the stuff out. Unfortunately I was out of the house most of the time and they had people over constantly helping them pack. Even with all the help it still took 4 chaotic days to finish the packing. They were still packing on Tuesday and I spent that morning helping out, fixing the vacuum, and cleaning what few rooms had been cleared out. Then I went to work.
I came by 11pm to pick up my cleaning supplies that I had left for them to use. I had totally thought they would be gone. They were not. So I tried to help out but it was really hard to deal with people who get angry at anything you do.The girlfriend screamed at me to get the cleaning stuff out of the house. So I packed up my cleaning supplies and went leave when she tells me that my toilet needs to be plunged. I went to the garage to get the plunger and clear what I think is a bit of toiletpaper. I walk in the bathroom and the first thing I notice is a large track of mud on the floor. I get a little angry about it, after all I spent 3 hours breathing bleach fumes to clean it. Then I lift up the toilet seat and find the entire bowl filled to the rim with feces. Needless to say I was pissed. "What the fuck happen to the toilet? I say. "Oh it was like that when you left" she says. At this point all the crap I had put up with over the last 2 years boils up from within me. The fucking utter disrespect that they have for anything not theirs. I walk outside and tell my friend that I am not cleaning up his families fucking mess. He actually had the audacity to blame it on me! Like Im really going to clean a fucking bathroom for 3 hours and then take a dump in it and leave! Needless to say I got in my car and left.
I got a message from him saying that we were not friends anymore. It was at that moment I realized that our friendship had ended the moment I stepped into that household.
So now my life is exactly like it should have been. I have sane flatmates, my rent is reasonable and I finally have a social life again. More on this later........
Part 1
So much has gone on since I moved up here from Socal. I moved in with my friend Rich and his girlfriend and her son. The point of the move was to help him out with his transition to fatherhood(she was pregnant) and to give me a new enviorment to explore. Unfortunately his girlfriend was possessive,vindictive,and much cause of stress and fighting in the house.She never really welcomes me into the house and she treats me more like some guy sleeping for free on the couch then a person paying $900 a month for a shitty 12/12 room. It turned out to be a really depressing place to be.I spent months trying hard to find a job in a market that did not exist. I went from a $2200 a month job in Socal to a retail job.
Meanwhile my rent is so high that I cant buy food and at the same time I cant really move out because my friend and his family are struggling with the new baby and would probably lose the house. The girlfriend got me an insurance job which didnt work out for me. Turns out that I just cannot force people to buy insurance even if its for their own good. My nonsuccess at the insurance job enraged the girlfriend to Psychotic heights.
To say she to it way to personal would be an understatement. Things get worse in the household and my friendship with said friend is going down the tubes because he values sex above all else and she uses(aka denies him) it to control him. We slowly become strangers in the same household. At this point I have been there for a year. The girlfriend goes through one of the periods of civility where she realizes how ridicules she has been acting and things become ok for a while. My rent is reduced from $900 dollars to $750.00 however I am still paying an extra $300 in utilities for things Im not really using since Im working all the time just to pay rent. Unfortunately my friend is hitting financial rocks and Im still unable to move without them losing the house we are renting. They have a fucking kid to feed! I just cannot bring myself to leave and make my life better while possibly destroying theirs.
Flash forward 8 months and I am pretty much isolated to my room. The girlfriend has made it clear through voice and action that Im not really welcome in the rest of the house. Of course that changes when my friend comes home from work.Suddenly there is a forced smile on her lips as she passes me talking to him."Your always welcome to hangout with us" she says in a strained voice.Its obvious that they are not on the same page. Its sometimes hard to understand how the relationship works without any communication. I remember at one point my friend told me it was ok to move and I had almost finished the leasing paperwork when the girlfriend found out and went ballistic. Perhaps I should have checked with her but it really seemed like something you would discuss with your mate before hand.
My friend and I have fairly similar ways of dealing with the house life. He spends all of his time playing video games on his new $4000 computer that he really cant afford. He also gets into music.
Flash forward 3 months
One day I the girlfriend makes an offhand remark about me being a freeloader. I take this to mean that they are finally on thier feet and I can get the fuck out.
Her son seems to be the only one capable of direct communication. The role of messenger seems to be a comfortable one for him, perhaps because he does this for his own dad(not my friend) She will not tell me things directly and my friend is lost in his own world. One day, a week or so after I put in my 90 day notice(the girlfriend was adament about 90 days) he comes up to me and tells me that we are being evicted in one months time. WTF???!!!
Sure enough, its true. In light of rising rent and me moving, they have decided(without telling me) to stop paying rent. Now I have scramble to find a place to live. Which I do in record time. I get my stuff out on the friday before eviction week and my friend decides to move his family back to SoCal. I move closer to SF and my job. On that Saturday I came beck to clean my room and bathroom.
"A ridiculous end to a friendship"
I spent 3 hours cleaning that fucking bathroom and I scrubbed every inch of it clean. You could have eaten out of the toliet. I wiped the last of the cleaner from the bowl with what was left of the toliet paper. Naturally it stuffed up the toilet. This toliet stuffed up almost every time it was used. Since it was just paper and the plunger was nowhere to be found I figured it would just break down on its own and flush away. So I closed the door and let everyone know not to use the bathroom. The next 2 days were hellish I had to work and every moment spent not working was spent helping them get the stuff out. Unfortunately I was out of the house most of the time and they had people over constantly helping them pack. Even with all the help it still took 4 chaotic days to finish the packing. They were still packing on Tuesday and I spent that morning helping out, fixing the vacuum, and cleaning what few rooms had been cleared out. Then I went to work.
I came by 11pm to pick up my cleaning supplies that I had left for them to use. I had totally thought they would be gone. They were not. So I tried to help out but it was really hard to deal with people who get angry at anything you do.The girlfriend screamed at me to get the cleaning stuff out of the house. So I packed up my cleaning supplies and went leave when she tells me that my toilet needs to be plunged. I went to the garage to get the plunger and clear what I think is a bit of toiletpaper. I walk in the bathroom and the first thing I notice is a large track of mud on the floor. I get a little angry about it, after all I spent 3 hours breathing bleach fumes to clean it. Then I lift up the toilet seat and find the entire bowl filled to the rim with feces. Needless to say I was pissed. "What the fuck happen to the toilet? I say. "Oh it was like that when you left" she says. At this point all the crap I had put up with over the last 2 years boils up from within me. The fucking utter disrespect that they have for anything not theirs. I walk outside and tell my friend that I am not cleaning up his families fucking mess. He actually had the audacity to blame it on me! Like Im really going to clean a fucking bathroom for 3 hours and then take a dump in it and leave! Needless to say I got in my car and left.
I got a message from him saying that we were not friends anymore. It was at that moment I realized that our friendship had ended the moment I stepped into that household.
So now my life is exactly like it should have been. I have sane flatmates, my rent is reasonable and I finally have a social life again. More on this later........